Smile and wave boys, smile and wave.

Every Monday is an off day for me.

That's the day where I have to get everything done, right from the laundry, the spring cleaning, the this and the that.

Original plan was to spend time at Nutty-Nad's house and play tennis but I was so busy with a new occupant in my room, or shall I say one of my new Love.

This new occupant is such a baby, wanting to sleep on my bed, rubbing foot with my legs, putting hands on my boobs in a massage way like, fondling with my hair, and bite my fingers (yes, this new occupant is a bit into kinky acts apparently).

I couldn't sleep too as this new love of mine keep on hassling me for attention.

Being the queen of attention seeker, I myself couldn't be bothered by my new love who kept me up all night wanting me to stroke, touch and rub my love's fat body.

This is the picture of my new love, and her name is Weebeet.

Weebeet is a combination of Whitey + Bitey.

Hence, its shorten to Weebeet.

This monster, kept me up all night and I woke up to a cranky morning.

She didn't eat, pee, or shit for the past 24 hours.

Probably stressed due to the unfamiliar environment.

So I decided to hit the pet store at the Curve and bought her stuff to make her happy.

Bought her a water dispenser (the ones where water automatically  comes out as you drink, like the ones they put in an office), food bowl, "wet" food, and calming lavender cat shampoo.

Almost bought the automatic food dispenser too, but due to budget restriction, a bowl is what she's getting for now.

They said I am pampering her too much as I could just use some container or recycled margarine tub to put her food and water. 

But to me animals have feelings too, I sure get pissed off if someone served me food in a margarine tub. I expect plates and silver spoons to complete my main course entree. (Okay, that's a bit exaggerating I am not that fussy. Eaten out of Styrofoams seems to be a usual thing for me these days, so crap the silver spoons) 

Speaking of fussy, I still hate mamak no matter what, except for breakfast.

Anyway, went and survey pet cushion for her too. Apparently it cost much more expensive than the cushion I wanted to buy for someone's car. So heck it, I already gave her food and place to stay, more than that she needs to win my heart and stop pestering me if she wants her own bed.

Planning to give her a bath tonight after I get back from work with the Ikea towels I bought for her. Isn't she just lucky to have me for now?

By the way, Weebeet has this really blue eyes that you feel like scooping it out from her eyes socket.

Side story of the week, I had an argument with one particular fellow 3 days back. I'm not putting the blame on anyone, so let us just say it's my fault (although I know it isn't, darn I'm just so ego at times too..and no I'm not speaking of Eddy here)


So yesterday, I called and said I'm sorry. I asked why he's not replying any of my smses.

He said "I waited for you to calm down first".

In my head, I was like "Oh my god, is he calling me crazy?".

As if I'm some crazy elephant that went berserk and need to be put down with 10 ml of tranquilizer shot.

What's up with the ignorant attitude? I said I'm sorry, forgive me although WE know it's not my fault.

If I could step aside from my ego and my pride or whatever sense that I had in my head, why couldn't you do the same?

You're just Selfish.

Enough said.

Side notes:

Thanks to you, I am just going to keep calm and carry on. May you find a new  purpose to not be confused over things next time.

And please, open up a little and make room for good things in your heart.

Experience taught us to be tougher, not keeping yourself away from things that make you happy.

To you I shall give this quote, "The worst time to feel alone is when you're in a crowd."

Seriously, I've been there and done that.

Thats all.

Updates:

Okay, he just said something to me few minutes back. Although I felt stubborn at first and declined to reply in the end I said something, thinking the happy days we had back then.

So I guess whatever I've written above, about you...I'll just drop it.

For now. 

Like I said to you the other day, its hard for me to hate someone although that person put me in a dumpster-like kind of feeling.

Goodness gracious.

It's been 17 days since I last update this "cram-my" blog of mine.

I know certain individuals followed my blog in order to know whether I am still alive and well or whether I am down in the drain feeling crappy as usual with my never-ending bubble of dramas.

Well folks, I am doing great except for feeling sick and flushed out due to visit by Aunt Red Dot two days back. Other than that, life is good I guess.

So updates on what's been happening for the past 17 days.

I battled myself again with the weight issues. My significant other wants me to drop a few pounds of the rice, parfait, egg-tarts, Ikea meatballs, pasta, and other delightful happy-food I've been consuming for the past 23 years (well, almost) of my life.

I seriously don't know how heavy or weighty I am now. The last time I went down the scale, I was 54 kg. Yes FIFTY-FOUR, for those who prefers me to spell it out instead of reading alpha-numeric letters.

Probably I weight more than 54kg now and probably I lost some weight too, cause my friends told me I look a little bit less-chubby than before. Or probably too, they're just sabotaging my diet plan so that they look much more better than me. *grunts*

Being a little cushy is not really an issue to me, as I believe if someone ought to love me is for who I am not for the image they created or wanting me to be. But when you started to look bigger than your significant other it only goes down to 3 points :

a) You haven't been feeding him and all your money only goes down to your tummy.

b) He sure has been feeding you.

c) You're either too happy or depressed and happy-food therapy program seems to be the cure for the itch in your heart.

Strike out point A.

That left us to B and C. 

When I felt a little bloated, I'll stop eating like half a day or two and ended up feeling sick.

He would then text me to eat something, then I would end up forgetting that diet oath I've been making over and over again.

Weighty love.

Okay, that's tale of the week. Shall not elaborate more as it is not getting no where. Only liposuction or miracle could help me to regain my "crowning" weight few years back which is 45kg. I have no time for jogging, running thread mill, gym crap.

Wanted to blog more, but something got in the way and I shall stop here for now. Probably everyone just need to wait another 2 weeks for another update.

Happy Sunday loves.

Sidenotes:

Had a few plans installed for this month, I think it just went down to drain.

Again with the lazy-ness of editing my blog skin, I hope my faithful readers shall continue dwelling on this particular dots for now till eternity.

I hope not.

Being in a relationship is like being a recovering alchoholic...

"You must accept that you are powerless."

What a painful Wednesday to begin with today. Woke up with a sharp pain on my left shoulder-blade and a weary left leg that feels as if it's going to break any minute from now. Fell down from the bed last night, knocked my leg on the side of the bed and bang the side table too.

Yes, I am "that" clumsy.

It didn't hurt that much yesterday, as I even did my manual "laundry-ing" after my loved one left the house. It's been a while since I drenched these little 10 tiny fingers in a bucket of cold water, a brush with delightful flowery-scent detergent under a running faucet. Clothes plus undergarments, there's around 20 pieces of clothing that I washed yesterday night. After doing my laundry, I just get too tired and cold to take a shower, just head down to bed and phone-text with my Love. Head did buzzed a bit due to the fall I think.

Though I woke up a little tad later than usual this morning, I did managed to do a little cleaning in my "tiny-almost cubicle like bedroom" which some people might consider it as a storage room instead when they enter my rectangle looking dodgy house. Cleaned the fan, as it starts to get a little dusty, swept the floor and puff the room with puffy scents of lavender in a spray can. Off to work, and as I walked to clock-in my attendance card, the pain in my left leg just starting to hurt more and when I took a look at it, there's this black and blue (not there is any other color for bruises...) bruised on the side of my leg.

Ouch.

Killing pain in the shoulder blade and a bruised with tingling swollen feeling on your left leg. What else could make this bruised Wednesday perfect?

Anyway, things are looking better for me and him lately. It's been a month of trying to be on the same par of mutual understanding and I think we're working it off great. Although there is a bit of sulking from my side, but I came down to my senses that he just wants the best for me and probably I do need to be matured in handling a relationship for the sake of my happiness as well.

He is a sweet person after all. 

Just that he gets a little cranky at times when I start to get a little bit unreasonable with my feelings and starts behaving and acting based on my heart desires.

I know deep down he do care and loves me too, just that maybe it takes a little while longer than usual with him, for the reassurance status to show yet now from his side.

It's funny, where sometimes in the midst of serious-ness with him there is Love.

It's funny too how am I liking all this, when usually I already run away and find something new to sulk on. Well maybe I am starting to grow up a little. And baby, I'll give you definite maybe.

Side notes:

Why am I so good at playing bitches? I think it's because I'm not a bitch.

My emotions are drained...

Like a ketchup in a packet.

It's a habit, whenever we go to a fast food outlet we tend to take extra packet of ketchup or pour extra from the bottle when all we need was a dash of sauce to dip the fries.

Sometimes its funny how people think that we could keep on giving and pouring our heart out like the ketchup in the packet, when a relationship fails to someone new they crossed path on a sunny afternoon at a shop. 

Pouring and drenching emotions thinking that it is something that you could make out of thin air without using any energy. But what if that day the ketchup ran out of stock and there's nothing to dip your fries with?

Would you tilt the bottle hoping few drips of sauce to come out from the bottle? Or would you shake it, and pump the rear with your fist?

I know I am not making any sense relating emotions with the ketchup bottle, but I hope you do understand when you read this.

It's funny too when you think the stake of a beginning or the end of a relationship was put on a line we call time.

Time do heal all wounds, without a doubt it will mend over an egg-shell cracked heart. But sometimes while waiting that long, it is not that worth it anymore. Not saying I've been there and done that, but I used to be that hopeful person waiting for miracles to happen and at the end of the day all it does was making me feel like crap.

Just like the ketchup bottle, my feelings it is irreversible. 

So stop making me pouring it out if you're just going to use it a little and leave me for the bin.

I'm tired of being the leftover.

Sidenotes:

I am not mad at you, but only the wall of my blog listens to my rants without ending up in an argument with me. I am just starting to respect and care about you as I think being with an older person could bring me back to the right track of life.

My past, it sucks.

Literally.