I finally moved out of that dump

Hey everyone,

finally moved out of that dump... and now i can blog often thanks to broadband..
its hard moving by yourself...got to make several trips in order to shift everything out and i still have a bag pack, a plastic bag, and a plastic box... i'll do that tomorrow.. :)

new place is a lot better than my previous one...more proper... with a CLEANER bathroom..ahahhah

got a unit-mate called Evan...he's from indiana... nice guy...but we'll see how it all goes... dumm dumm dummm...

still unpackin a bit now...haha..banyak barang tau...

ok, will blog again when i am done with moving... take care

Bakry

I have nothing to write about
yet the ink keeps flowing
I have nothing to talk about
but my mouth keeps going

I have nothing to dream about
but sleep still takes me
I have nothing I dare to hold on to
but my arms still try grasping

I have nothing but these empty words
with which I try to attach some meaning
I have nothing but my memories
blurring faster than I can write them down

I have nothing but inertia
holding me down,keeping me from floating away
I have nothing but fear of death
that keeps me from saying goodbye today

I have nothing and want nothing more
but my fear keeps me from really seeing
That I'm lying through my teeth and holding all this in:
all the hopes I ever had
all the wishes that I've made
all the love and joy I have longed for
all the hatred that consumes me
all the pain embedded deep in my heart
making me want to sleep forever
though it is what keeps me alive.


You know I'm bored,
Eryn

:*: Sunday Morning :*:

I woke up early today, lol at 9am...I think this is the first time ever I woke up early on a "weekend" . Slept at 11.45pm..was too tired to stay up on a Saturday night. Yesterday was a fun day, met a new friend name Basil...met old friends at Sunway. Nothing much, except I satisfied myself with 2 bars of chocolate and 1 bar of Snickers...right after I had my lunch..lol.

Came back online, thought of doing my work but was too tired. Chat for a while then went to bed. I couldn't blog lately due to the mounted pile of assignments I had. Nothing much to talk about neither other than school and friends.

Now I'm gonna search some points for me speech on the 30th, Thursday and I'm not prepared YET. I have the points but can't seem to construct the points into sentences. I'm doomed, and I'm so scared I'll screwed up on that day.

I wanna buy a Bunny...lol. I used to have 6 rabbits when I was small, but becaused my family keep moving around we left them to my grandmother, and all of them died after some time.

People say bunny stinks. But I think they're cute. I wanna buy one and toilet-trained it. We'll see. Probably get some Angora bunnies, but they're pretty hard to maintain..or a Dutch bunny...they're fat and cute.

Gonna buy lunch any time soon. Had toasted bread with butter and coconut jam, and a cup of hot chocolate. Boring Sunday...and I'm pissed for no reason with my bf.

Tomorrow is Monday,
Eryn.

:*: Nothing Special :*:

School is friggin tiring, well it started off with a good start. Arrived at school at 6.30am. Yes - 6.30 . Well my friend Audrey arrived much more earlier than me. Decided to came early cause wanted to write a speech, the class would be peaceful early in the morning. Speech on Bribery. A boring topic and I'm chosen to represent the school.

As soon I arrived school, plan decided to change. Lol, that's normal I guess. We were chit-chatting in the canteen and eating our breakfast. I was munching on some pretzels and cookies I brought from home. In the end, we started our first class with this full belly.

Nothing special today happened, but I had fun at school. Especially Biology time, we just cracked ourselves all the way...lol. Can't wait for Saturday, going to Sunway College to check out some stuff and meet my friends over there. Can't wait for July 2nd and 3rd too, meeting some friends on Cheerleading Competition day. But the day I most look forward to is July 7th, my bf is coming back home for weeks holiday. Yay.

Tomorrow is Friday, I hope it is gonna be a good day. Well I hope it aint a busy one, there is tons of homeworks I have to do. Felt the pressure yesterday after doing Biology practical report. Then the next day is Saturday, then Sunday, then we're back to Monday. Student life couldn't be any much routine than that.

Chilling out to John Legend featuring Kanya West song titled, Number One. Aight. Toodles people.

You know that I love you..
There's no one above you..
I said it the last time..
But this is the last time..
Don't make me over..
Cuz I can be faithful..
Baby you're my number one..
You're my number one..

Bakry's my number One,
Eryn.

:*: Friggin insect :*:

Princess Eryn + Take my tortured heart by the hand says:
u love me?

- Bak - =^o.O^= says:
yes

- Bak - =^o.O^= says:
but we cant be too serious

After 1 year of being together he decided to tell me this today. So picture how am I feeling this very moment. Speechless.

When being asked, his reason were :

Princess Eryn + Take my tortured heart by the hand says:
are u serious about me?

- Bak - =^o.O^= says:
serious la

- Bak - =^o.O^= says:
but wat i meant is that we shouldnt get too serious
Princess Eryn + Take my tortured heart by the hand says:
like?

- Bak - =^o.O^= says:
know that there are other people too

So now we have to consider about other people too. I never knew that. Oh, yes I'm pissed alright.

To mount it all up the emotion-less state I'm going thru' right now... I just got stung at my neck by this friggin insect, ughhh it hurts. Rubbed my fingers at my neck and I still could feel the sting mark on my neck. Among of all the places the insect decided to give a love-bite at my neck lol. Yeah the mark looks like a love-bite.

I have a lot to talk about, but I'm just not in the mood to talk for now, I'll talk about it tomorrow I guess. Toodles coodles.

Take my tortured heart by the hand and write me off,

Eryn.

:*: Yet another post :*:

Sunday morning. Lol, more like lunch time now and I'm gonna go get lunch in few minutes time. I was searching for some Prime Minister pictures for my 3rd sister, Adline school project. I stumbled upon this old article, well really an article, it is actually a forum posted on Utusan Malaysia.

Some dude came from this village of Kuala Pilah, Pahang..complained about paying RM10 bucks for his coffee in Putrajaya during a field trip organised by his school. Note : He is a teacher. But you guys just have to read this, it's funny not that I look down on these rural people, but hey he is a teacher but his scope about the city and coffee brand names are just not that wide I guess...and yet he dares to post it to a national newspaper.

This is what the dude posted:
http://www.utusan.com.my/utusan/archive.asp?y=2003&dt=1029&pub=Utusan_Malaysia&sec=Forum&pg=fo_03.htm

Let us look at how another dude replied to his comment:
http://www.utusan.com.my/utusan/content.asp?y=2003&dt=1030&pub=Utusan_Malaysia&sec=Forum&pg=fo_06.htm

* Apparently the tags didn't appear neatly cause the link was in html format or so, it doesn't work with my script type I think. Lol dunno, I'm not that good in this whole html thing anyway. Just click the link to read it.

How could he compared iced-coffee price at his kampung in Kuala Pilah with the coffee price at San Fransisco Coffee, Selera Putra at Putrajaya? They put up the price list, but he didn't look at it first. Well his fault...and how dare he mentioned that the coffee taste like Nescafe ? One of my cousin's wife working as a supervisor at Dome Cafe...I know what kind of ingredients they use to make their coffee, and HELLO dude ! They don't use Nescafe ok ? Even the milk is not from F&N. Farmhouse baby, Farmhouse.

Meanwhile have you checked out the news today on The Star newspaper ? About a puppy with 6 legs and 2 penis. Poor lil puppy, he was dumped at a temple. He is cute tho, I wouldn't mind to rear an-alienated look-alike puppy. Sad case I couldn't have a dog.

SPECIAL CANINE: The puppy with two extra legs and a second penis is currently being taken care of by the caretaker of the Kwang Sung Temple in Pandamaran, Port Klang.

Here is the news clipping : Special Canine

He is cute right ? Although some might have freaked out if you see a 6 legged puppy walking around the neighbouhood. Butjust look at his adorable face.

One word : Cute !

Thats all for now,

Eryn.

:*: Happy One-Year Anniversary :*:

Through ups and downs

We made it again

Loving each other

Until the end

Nothing can surpass

The way that we feel

We made it this far

With a love so real

The distance may stop us

From kissing today

But through the air I'm blowing

A million kisses your way

I'm sure you will feel them

Once you read this

Happy 1st Year Anniversary

And many more to be

An Anniversary without you,

Eryn.

:*: Why ? :*:

Why...

When someone has too little choices, they complain of their limited options, wanting and wishing for more, envious of those that have plenty.While those that have plenty of choices, can't make up their mind, gets confused all the time and is always unsure, never really sure what it is that is right for them, never satisifed, always wondering what they are missing out there. Constantly striving for something that they themselves are not sure of.

So where is the balance of it all? When is it sufficient?

When is it right?

Too much of something is never good.

So when will it ever be good?

I wish someone can come and take this pain away. There's this pain tugging in my chest, excruciating pain which I don't understand. So painful yet I don't know how to make it go away. I don't understand any of this.

Enough of whining...

Let's talk about my week so far. Well we started studying, lessons are getting tougher and tougher each day. Have to set my mind to this state of level where every data has to be intercepted into this candy box brain of mine. So far everything is good, Biology is my best loved subject. Chemistry *uggh* if only I could understand what is she talking about.

Maths, all these while I thought Additional Maths was the toughest version of maths I'll ever study. Apparently Maths-T is friggin my brain out. Yesterday we were learning about "Imaginary Numbers" : Numbers that doesn't exist. Wtf ? If it doesn't exist, is it such a number ? Bleargh..

General studies is Ok so far, if only the text is easy. Doing this whole pre-u thing made me realised that I don't have so much time left for myself...not even for blogging. I talked to my bf lesser and I hope he doesn't mind that. He is coming back soon, approximately 19 days more . Well I guess I have to hocus-pocus on this whole study thing, it is all about my future in the end anyway.

I wonder if the work load when we start to work is gonna be tough like this ? I am stressing my brain out already for now. Am I still gonna be the same Eryn in the end of the day ?

Truly Eryn,

Eryn.

Update

Sorry guys, I just realised the skin of this blog was gone...Apparently the website I hosted my blog skin Photobucket.com is under maintenance schedule or something...so now this blog is skinless..lol. I'm pretty busy to be updating my blog for now, I'll be back blogging soon.

School, school, school.
Eryn

:*: Foolish :*:

It's cold.

There are some people I can always talk to and be comforted by, even if they don't try to cheer me up..but there are some insensitive people out there that I'd rather not talk to. screw them, and good riddance. Well, can't really say good riddance if they're not exactly rid of.

I'm exasperated with the world and with myself. Some people spaz over the darndest things. Like me. Some things are controllable. I should stop complaining about things if I can do something about it..but most of the things I feel like I have no control over...but there's a certain person I know that is keeping his feelings inside without telling someone about them..and it's hurting him in the process.

If he doesn't talk about it, it's just going to keep on hurting him..and it's really hard to watch..but in a way, he's hurting himself because he knows keeping it in is going to only give him more pain. If he KNOWS it, why can't he take action? If he isn't taking action, why is he complaining? Sounds a lot like me, though. But half the things I can't control because I know speaking up for anything will do absolutely no good for the things I'm dealing with. actually, speaking up would only make things worse.

Do you realize that I try to work us out and be happy mainly because I need some control over SOME aspect of my life? But once I don't have that control/comfort/security, what do I have? Life is so..dizzy, sometimes.

Actually, you don't realize..because as I've said before, you don't look hard enough... or maybe I don't show anything but shallowness...but even the people that know don't really KNOW.

With my head in my hand I sit and cry,
Eryn.

:*: Don't know why :*:

I would cross the endless sea...I would die in ecstacy...but I'll be a bag of bones...driving down the road along. Ok, enough of Norah Jones humming. I'm bored, as empty as a drum. It is Friday night and my boyfriend is not talking to me cause he decided to study for his upcoming exam. Noted again, IT IS FRIDAY NIGHT.

He told me somewhere around I don't remember what time was it that he needed 30 mins to read up some stuff and would message me back later. Ok 30 mins gone, and I let it be till one hour. Then I let it be till the next hour and the next hour...well to cut it short I was left waiting for almost 4 hours. It is not that I'm being inconsiderate nor selfish to let him study, I'm just pissed that I was left waiting like that. Wanna study go ahead, at least tell me.

Guys. They just don't get it. Well is it guys or is it just my boyfriend ? Once he left me waiting for 3 days..well I'll spare the details. UGhhH...I'm so pissed. He wouldn't like reading this, cause he always tell me this "our problem settle it between us don't have to share with others". Well let it be it is not like I'm talking behind his back, at least he shares this blog with me.

Although Mawar just asked me "Bakry doesn't blog anymore?". Well ask him don't ask me cause I'm tired of asking him to blog, and it would only get me pissed off AGAIN. Sometimes I just think that he doesn't understand me or I feel like my friends understands me better. UghHhh...enough of my heart ranting session. Let us focus on tomorrow.

What am I gonna do tomorrow. Tomorrow heading to the hospital to grab some pills. Then off to the eye hospital in PJ, getting my new glasses. Must be wondering eh, why would I go all the way to a hospital to get a new pair of glasses. It is because they're specialist, and they get it accurate and all...compared to the normal shops you go and purchase one. Sleeping now, have to wake up early tomorrow. Nitey nite.

Tomorrow is a day away,
Eryn.

:*: Love :*:

I just thought of sharing this song by Musiq Soulchild, title : Love. This song is so sweet, and I wanna dedicate it to my boyfriend Bakry. I love him so very much. Thanks to Aishah, for sharing this beautiful song with me. Lol..this is the only emo song she have on her player list anyway. Look at the lyrics and enjoy the song being played on the blog. Very meaningful indeed.

Love my Comel,
Eryn.


:*: Musiq Soulchild - Love :*:

Love,
So many things I've got to tell you.
But I'm afraid I don't know how.
Cause there's a possibility,
You'll look at me differently.
Love,
Ever since the first moment I spoke your name,
From then on I knew that by you being in my life,
Things were destined to change cause...

Love,
So many people use your name in vain.
Love,
Those have faith in you sometimes go astray.
Love,
Through all the ups and downs the joy and hurt.
Love,
For better or worse I still will choose you first.

Many days I've longed for you,
Wanting you.
Hoping for the chance to get to know you.
Longing for your kiss,
For your touch, your feel, your essence.
Many nights I've cried from the things you do,
Felt like I could die from the thought of losing you.
I know that you're real,
With no doubts and no fears.
And no questions.

Love,
So many people use your name in vain.
Love,
Those have faith in you sometimes go astray.
Love,
Through all the ups and downs the joy and hurt.
Love,
For better or worse I still will choose you first.

At first you didn't mean that much to me,
But now I know that you're all I need.
The world looks so brand new to me.
Now that I found love,
Everyday I live for you.
And everything that I do,
I do it for you.
What I say is how I feel so believe it's true,
You got to know i'm true.

Love,
So many people use your name in vain.
Love,
Those have faith in you sometimes go astray.
Love,
Through all the ups and downs the joy and hurt.
Love,
For better or worse I still will choose you first.

:*: But I can't tell you !:*:

Nice piece of art to me, simple but the message gets to your head...the bandage tells you the whole thing what it is trying to say. I love being cute, I said/do stuff thats cute to my boyfriend cause that how we used to treat one another when we first coupled. In 10 days time, its gonna be a year we're together and he just told me this :

- Bak - says:
i guess
- Bak - says:
it was Cute at first
- Bak - says:
all the lovey dovey

He doesn't think it is cute anymore,
Eryn.

:*: Road Lesson # 1 :*:

UGhHhhh..I sprained my ankle and hurt my knee today after met a lil accident outside my house, got knocked down by a motorbike..bloody biker...he didn't saw me. Well it is sort of my fault too, lol I didnt use the zebra-crossing. Went to the nearby clinic after that, thanked god my neighbour was home so she took me to the clinic, no one is home right now. Dad called after being informed, and said I was being careless...but he didn't talk to me or nag at me much since there is nothing we could do about it other than be careful next time. I wanna go and eat my chicken rice, thanks to my neighbour too for buying it. Toodles.

Let me rewind a bit of retro music on the blog. Love Fool by The Cardigans. I think it was hot during my younger years, and it was on "Cruel Intentions" soundtrack.

I don't care bout' anything but my Comel,
Eryn

:*: I thought of you today :*:

Today I thought about you
For really quite a while,
About how you make me feel
About how you make me smile.

And I began to realize
You're the stars within my sky,
And I thought about how life
Can sometimes go awry.

How light can turn to shadows
And heat can turn to cold,
How fast the young can grow
And find themselves now old.

And I thought about your smile
How it seems to light my way,
And how I'd like to lay with you
At the close of everyday.

How I'd like to brush my fingers
Through your soft short hair,
And how you make my life
Just a little easier to bear.

And I thought about the tears
That I'd never cry again,
For your love for me
Shelters me from pain.

And while I sat here staring
Beyond my window pane,
A smile came to my heart,
And I thought of you again...

The muses they pray loud ,
for your listless journey to me Bakry,
:*: Eryn :*:

:*: Still on My side ? :*:

I'm in a state of depression, I hate my life...especially after what is going through between me and my mum. Depression strikes hard just like my old earth would tell it. To me, her daughter, she told me I'm the one. Pain bottled up, about to blow like a gun. Stories that I tell, are nonfiction and you can't take it back cause it's already done. All your insults and your curses make me feel like I'm not a person. Enough of my heart-ranting session , sometimes the best is when we just shut up and stay silent...this is the time when nothing feels alright. I have nothing else to talk about, laters.

p/s: Are you still on my side ? If only this song would be put into action for me. Oh by the way, its exactly one month from today, someone I love most and dearest to my heart coming back home for his 3 weeks holiday. I wonder if he is on my side ?

When nothing feels alright,
Eryn.

:*: Still On Your Side - BBMak :*:

You found a place where you belong
New friends that can do no wrong
That's what you believe
But who is going to be there when you fall
To build up when you are feeling small
Give you love that you need

Who will, I will
When the whole world turns against you,
Ain't no lie
Don't you know that I will stand up for you
No matter what you are going through
I'm still on your side
Any time day or night
Don't care if it's wrong or right
I'm still on your side

You want to run you want to break free
What you want ain't what you need
Can't you see that I care
I know I'm hard on you sometimes
But when you are looking for the things you can't find
Don't you know who'll be there
Who will, I will
When it's more than you can handle
Ain't no lie
Don't you know that I will stand up for you
No matter what you are going through
I'm still on your side
Any time day or night
Don't care if it's wrong or right
I'm still on your side

I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there
I'll be there when you need me I won't let you go
There's nothing I won't do I'll be there
Don't you know that I will stand up for you
No matter what you are going through
I'm still on your side
Any time day or night
Don't care if it's wrong or right
I'm still on your side
I will be around when the others let you down
I'm still on your side
Anytime you need help and you can't find nobody else
I'm still on your side

Paris Hilton's Perfume.

Fragrance notes : Frozen Apple, Peach Nectar, Freesia, Mimosa, Jasmine, Sandalwood, Ylang Ylang, and Oakmoss...I bet it smells nice, I want one ! Wonder when it would hit Kay-Elle...waiting waiting...unless someone wanna buy me one. Lol...marry me Mr. Latsis !

:*: Pink Toolkit :*:

As I was browsing my daily cup of BoingBoing, I came across this pink toolkit..If you know me well, you know I'm a fan of pink stuff, even Paris likes Pink. Not saying I wanna be like her, I have always like anything in pink colour before Simple-Life was a crazed on tv. For the handy gal, this tool kit contains hot pink screwdrivers, hammer, pliers, scissors and more. Lol, working with tools could never get more fun than this.

Oh I woke up early today, AGAIN bugged by a telephone call by the same people AGAIN...lol and this time I was asked to get ready to be picked up and head to One Utama. Nothing much beside had some egg tarts topped with strawberry slices at Starbucks for a start. Then went and checked out Pets Wonderland, it's a "must-stop" place everytime I go to One Utama or any shopping centre. Checked out few hamsters, talking about hamsters..it reminds me of Ling's hamsters, one of them died..the one with black and white fur..poor lil furry fella..rest in peace my tootsie.

Walked around checked some stuff, nothing much in stores right now...or probably cause I don't really have anything in mind to buy. Waiting for some new collection to buy, nothing that attracts me today. Then we had lunch at Okra...I'm never bored of Okra, their noodles just superb-delicicious...

After that I'm back home by 4.30pm...just in time as my boyfriend messaged me. Told him about my day and he just woke up....lol. He's cute when he is just awake. Not much, just waiting for him..he's bathing right now...and I'm gonna buy dinner in a while.

Toodles,

Eryn.

:*: Innocence :*:

:*: Don't Speak the Love-Speak to me :*:

I'm online early today. Lol, woke up early..cause of a bloody phone call from my friends who cancelled our "suppose" to go out plan today. Ugh, nevermind..I'll just sit home spend my Friday night talking to my boyfriend..nothing could be better than that. I love him so much.

Hmm, yesterday nothing much happen neither..except I was grumpy like hell..everything wasn't right for me, here and there. I was mad at my boyfriend for no reason. Pity him. He'll be the victim most of the time, I'll rant my heart out on him. He is just doing his duty as a boyfriend I guess, being the understanding one.

Missing him like crazy, wanna hug him. I miss his hugs and kisses, those arms around me. I miss eating with him, that platypus face he does,that lick and kiss like a cat thing, love him so much ! It might seem to be an ordinary thing to every couple, the hugs, the kisses, the teases..but to me it is something special, cause when I'm with him he makes me happy and I'm his dear princess.

It's approximately 1 month and 4 days time till my 'boosuk" is back home..3 weeks holiday..sigh..but I'll make good use of that 3 weeks holiday with him. Nothing else to talk about, its lunch time now...have to eat...he'll get upset if he finds out I'm not eating.

Let me refresh your memory with an old-school song, Don't Speak by No Doubt...lol was humming few songs and it pops into my head all the sudden. I think it was like 1995 when that song was famous, I was only 8 years old that time.

Don't Speak the Love-Speak to me,
Eryn.

:*: Love-Speak :*:

Below is the sum total of these wacky terms of endearments , international sweet nothings for you to use and share with your special little cabbage, separated into easy-to-follow categories.

Vegetable
Mon petit chou (French): My little cabbage
Zuckerstuc (German): Sugar pea
Mya morkovka (Russian): My little carrot

Animal
Zaubermaus (German): Magic mouse
Zyeinka (Russian): Little rabbit
Moja zabcia (Polish): My frog
Tsipotchka (Russian): Little birdie

Animal-food hybrid
Zuckerschnecke (German): Sugar snail
Honey bunny (American): Honey bunny

Fruit
Yogodka (Russian): Little berry
Mi media naranja (Mexican): My half orange

High-caloric
Cupcake (American): Cupcake
Meu docinho de coco (Brazilian): My little coconut treat

Insects
Ma puce (French): My flea
Mi chinicuil (Mexican): My bug; my worm

Huh?
Fofinho (Portuguese): Little fluffy thing
Shnoogly-woogly (American): Shnoogly-woogly

Taken from "How to speak Lovey-Dovey by Karen Salmansohn".

One word for it Cute !
I would love to be called "my Fofinho".... go ahead and dream Eryn. My boyfriend doesn't know how to be cute and he doesn't think these terms of endearments are cute neither.

Love Speak,
Eryn. [officially 18 today]

Happy Birthday, Eryn.

Sayang awak.

Well, its the 1st of june and someone is 18. Finally, 18...but..takde license lagi..hahahah..
Hmmmm....18 years old..wonder how thats like for a gurl : )

Happy birthday, Eryn : ) Love ya.

Hmm...wait for me to balik...I'll get ya that muffin..with 57 candles.. oh.. I mean...18 candles..hahah..and something tied with pink ribbon..haha..I wonder what ?
Starts with a L and ends with a B = _ _ _ - _

I wonder, what your friends are gonna give ya for presents.... :o scooter ?? Scooter Comel... I think thats the brand...

Maybe its magic or something, but somehow tonight I can go on the blog to blog : ) hahaha..ku ku ku..bagus bagus...

18 years old.."the" age where you are supposedly an adult..Well, so now you are an adult..kena la jadi macam adult ok? : ) Dah ada wrinkle ? haha..

Anyway, I'll be back in like 1 month or so.. kita leh lepak-lepak ok ? Lepak tepi jalan..cangkung tepi longkang...mintak rokok or seringgit from people : ) haha... man, u would so dump me : )

I love u ok ? Phew..lucky... Blogger lekat...haha..ada recover post... phew.. love u ok ?

I am gonna post this one first : ) just in case lekat lagi.

Muah love ya.
Bakry