Monday, November 28, 2005

:*: Emotions Taking Me Over :*:


"Dual Emotions" - Rita Loyd


I think that is my problem. I hate emotions. All of them. No doubt. I have told myself that any rational action must be completely void of any emotion, when really, the opposite is true. Some kind of emotion is necessary.

I should not be the basis, but should be present.

I learned a long time ago, that emotions lie. That is true. Emotions can make you think that something is true when it isn't. If you let them run you, then you will never be consistant. Of course, emotions can also tell the truth. Like if you are passionate about something, and you feel strongly about what you beilieve it invokes a responsible emotional response.

The problem is, the lies and the truth can be both positive and negative emotions. It requires rational thinking to differentiate. Of course rational thinking that is void of emotion is the other extreme. Reason, when dealing with emotional people, often does not make sense. So there is a fine line between what is proper emotion to behave, and times to be reserved.

I have been really introspective recently.

Why?

I do not know.

Perhaps what someone told me made me think more about myself. Oh well...

I guess that what I do is try to tell myself that my emotions don't exist, or that they are always not the right answer. I guess this is what is called suppressing. Of course this leads to outbursts. Then, I feel bad about letting my emotions control me, so I just end up being frustrated, which I think makes me worse.

Also, I tend to when I do express myself emotionally, people don't want to hear it or they start laughing. Apparently when I express myself, it never seems a very positive outcome.

I don't really have much more to say. But, I wish someone would show up at my door, and want to hang out.

So I could be around someone.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

:*: Lost and Found :*:

Whoa.

The last time I've blogged was 31st October, Halloween Day. I got captured by some Hooligans and nearly being stewed to death, but I escaped myself today and here I am. Haha, ok. That was a pathetic start for someone who haven't been blogging for quite some time.

So...miss me ?

Frequent visitors of this "rantville-blog" of mine must have thought that I've broke up with my blog or something. My blog is my open decoy-diary, haha I could never leave her.

I was just busy enjoying my holiday. Those who knew me well sure knows that, once Eryn gets her Holiday, she'll do nothing but Holiday-ing. Haha.

Went out yesterday. Original plan was meeting up Tareeq for breakfast, then off to Bakry's house to visit his mum, who's on leave till tomorrow. But end up playing "hide and go seek and run away" for 2 hours infront of Rasta with Tareeq. Then got chased with a cab until Bakry's house. Ugh, long story. You wouldn't wanna know.

Called Aishah while hanging out in the park and the villa, only she knows why I'm so happy. Had chocolate fest with Tareeq. Ate too much of chocolate and end up hyper till the night. He bought me my favourite of Toblerone, and I repay his Toblerones with Cadbury Dairy Milk, which end up in my stomach too haha.

Off to see Tareeq again on Friday. Haha, can't wait.

As for now, here I am.