Physically or mentally.
I have problem dealing with pain be it the first or the latter.
Yesterday I started my first fitness class. Yea, me in a Fitness class? It would be a miracle if my friends found out that I signed up for such thing. The nearest thing I ever got myself into gym was being approached into joining True Fitness when accompanying a friend to the gym once. Back then I only weight 45kg, so going to gym was like, who needs gym? I don't need gym nor ever do I think I need to run or jump or skip or do anything healthy in my life.
Well guys, that was back then.
Noticing that I've been prone to getting sick, allergies, headaches, ridiculous back pains, hormones spiking up and down triggers a sign to my guy (Saiful) that I am not fit. He secretly enrolled me on weekend fitness classes without asking for my concern, knowing that I've promise him time and again that I will work out, and exercise. Time and again also, it never happened. My bad.
Not that he didn't try very hard to get me into all this exercising mantra. Noted that he started buying me Fat Burner (dietary supplement), fitness hotpants, and constantly drag me into the gym almost every other day. Yet it failed to inspire me. Obviously my main attention is to lose weight all the time, each time I see a slim girl walked by. I have skinny khakis pants that I couldn't fit in anymore, even if I do it's after forcing myself in. Tops that I kept secretly hidden under my pile of clothes, not that it doesn't fit. Just that it will show a little belly shape. It is also very tiring to snap more than once each time I want someone to take a picture of myself, making sure the angle is right and I don't look fat in the face, the tummy or my thighs.
So the story was, he just break the news to me in the car earlier this week that "You're joining Att's fitness class this weekend". Gosh, I felt my bones were twitching into smaller bits even before I had my fitness class. He reminded me the night earlier to not forget to wake him up, so that he will come all the way from Bangi to send me to the fitness class.
Well of course I did sabotage my own first fitness class.
And I failed.
Alarm rang and I went back to sleep for the next hour until he called and said he's on the way to fetch me. Sheesh. He is so serious into this. The night before he did say "It's okay baby, if you don't want to go". I guess it's probably now or never to him.
Heavy feet, I faithfully dragged my whole body and put on a smiley face for him. Feeling scared, anxious, nervous and (insert the most exaggerated feeling you could think of for me). He dropped me off and said goodbye. It's like a father who puts his daughter in a day-care centre and me like a baby feeling scared that my guardian (trainer) is going to be very the bully type and the kids (other trainees) are going to be better than me. Like stronger, slimmer, active than me.
Jumping jacks, squat jump, speed skaters, burpee, jumping rope, high knees...etc.
Whoa, I was so beat for the next 2 hours!
Although I woke up this morning with a massive leg pain resulting from doing things I never did before, (considering I even cheated my Physical Examination exam during my highschool days. With 40 over students in the class, the teacher doesn't bother how many pushups, sit-ups you actually do. You'll always get an A for Physical Examination) I was more excited than ever to go to my second class for today.
In a day, I've achieved results. Lost 10 kgs when I weighed myself at the gym. Hahaha, just kidding! The only achievement I've made was changing to 1.5kg dumbbells instead of the 1kg weight I used yesterday for the circuit training. Well that was a good achievement right? That 1.5kg might be 5kg next week and 10kg the two months.
Att showed me her picture, her way back then picture which was very inspiring. No slim juice, detox tea shit. Pure exercise and healthy food. Speaking of healthy food, oh God please spare me the joy of Nasi Lemak Sambal Sotong tomorrow morning. From now on it will be vegetables and fruits and whatever plants that I could consumed until I reached my ideal weight. Controlling what I eat at work is very hard as it's hard to even have a proper meal at work. But I have dresses I want to wear, and wedding gown I want to fit. So if you see me eat anything I shouldn't be eating, please snap me out of it.
I think it's important to remember that to exercise you don't have to run a sprint. Yoga mat, light weights if you're a beginner like me and you're good to go. I hoped that I won't be the kind of person who would come out of the gym and go straight to McDonalds.
I had a great weekend, a new weekend activity shall I say?
I guessed each time I felt like I want to give up I need to remember what my friend May Lee told me, "It's not just about being fat. It's being healthy and being able to live life at its fullest together. Saying that, he cares for you."
Aww, I love you too my dearest Saiful.
I do hope Att continue to inspire me and outgrew the pig in me. Do check her facebook page Fit Ninja, Chick Warriors. Great tips and she post healthy recipes too. Well about cooking, that shall be another chapter in my life.
Until then much love from me.
Sidenotes:
All the water could never sink a ship unless it gets inside. Likewise, all the pressures of life can never hurt you unless you let it in.
