Well everyone I know has got a reason to say, put the past away.

Okay before I start yapping, yes I know it's been a while since I last posted something in here.

Reason?

I lost the cause of writing actually and also busy with lots of stuff that's been going on in and out of my life. Even though of shutting down this blog as I don't find a reason of keeping it. Nevertheless, I couldn't find a reason of throwing it away too.

 

So how's everyone doing?

I hope everyone is in the pink of health.

Not blue, red or purple. Unless you feel like playing Barney for a day.

I am myself doing great, well at least I thought I am doing great so far. Life is not what you expect out of it, but it's what we always do.

Expect.

Wanting.

Hoping.

For something.

As we know we're drawing near to the end of the year.

Yes. Cliche as it may sound, but in a blink of an eye it's half past November. What have we achieved so far in this year?

This miserable mushroom picture was taken in front of

my work place with my awesome photography skill.

As for me, I landed myself a pretty awesome job in KL with a pretty awesome pay cheque. Busy with work lately, and got tangled in the web of office-politics. Well, let's not go there. It's absolutely not worth the typing.

I realised I went through a lot of trivial matters through out this year.

I am glad that I put a stop to it.

Thanks to the my Love who's currently so patient with my unstable emotions and so kind enough listening to my fuss and daily complaints I had to say almost everyday.

Okay, I am lost of words to say.

May this last coming month of this year, ends up with a blast.

Have a nice week ahead everyone, will blog when I decided to get out of my busy phase of life at the moment.


Sidenotes:
Not blaming on the writer's block.

But yes, it is the writer's block syndrome.

Need to get in touch again with this blog of mine.

Has a strong will, but a weak won't.

I don't like thinking about the past.

Because I start thinking...

"It was so simple, so easy and you took it all for granted. And you can never get it back."

Then all these emotions starts building in my chest.

Behind my eyes...

Clouding my thoughts...

And,

I can't speak

I can't think

And,

The only thing I know is...

I missed how it used to be.

I missed how I used to be.

Sidenotes:

Not having a writer's block.

More like a mental block this time.

Beginning to feel like every day of my life is like an open tryout for a wacky new reality television show.

Took this picture yesterday on the way back home with my loved one, it's a pretty sight of the rainbow, but sadly this only what a 5 megapixel picture from my phone could capture. Need to click it to view the rainbow, that's if you could spot it. 

This week had been a very crazy week for me...

To some people this sounds normal, as there isn't any day I am fully sane and functioning well according to some of my close friends.

For a start, my great grandmother passed away last week at the age of 90+ (couldn't clarify her rightful age as old folks back in the days didn't really take the whole identity registration thing seriously), so I've been told she died peacefully at right before dusk at the age of 90+. May Allah blessed her soul and look after her in the other side. Al-Fatihah.

After coming back from the funeral, I suffered from a terrible eyesore. Long story, make it short I've recovered from it after suffering from it for a several days. Blinking, twitching, and winking like a horny pirate with a dysfunctional right eye.

Other things happened as well, happy, sad, frustrating, disappointing, well to balance out it's a roller coaster plus merry go-round ride week.

I miss how easy life used to be before I actually learn how to feel mad and disappointed when things didn't go how I pictured it to be. It's true, that when feelings start to meddle with your heart, it could make your heart goes a little boom-boom and at times when you can't take it anymore it goes..

Kaboom.

That's when things starts not to make sense, and that's also when we start blaming each other because of each other flaws, faults and mistakes. But we're merely humans. 

Making mistakes is like part of our lives.

No matter how old you get, the phrase "See I told you so" is something you could never run from.

But I guess I am just going to sit down and say "It's alright."

Sidenotes:

1) Although it's a sad week, I do enjoy my company of loved ones around me. My family, my cats, and new found friends.

2) Spotted in KL on the way back from Tangs, last week.

As some may know I used to live in Jerantut, way back then when I was a little kid. I miss Pahang somehow.

Knowing someone you love don't feel the same way about you...

Memories they soon delete, hmmm.

Oh Raya, here we go again.

A day to stuff yourself with artificial sweeteners, artificial flavors, artificial food-colorings and of course fats and calories from the faithful Lemang and Rendang.

How is your Raya so far?

With my sisters (from left): Anis, Me and Adlinur

Mine, nothing new. The same old same routine, trip down south with my family. Visit relatives and every year apparently they seem to add a new collection to the family. More and more new faces, and it seems hard to remember the names of my cousin's children. Remembering their name is one thing, it doesn't come easy with those fancy telenovela/movie/football player inspired names.

Note to self, don't produce many babies and pick a simpler shorter nicer name like Eryn. But to be honest I do have a few names in mind if I have a daughter, name like Dawn, Violet and Summer. My mum would definitely go against these names. Heck she would probably say "Tak ada nama Melayu lain ke?"

The usual activity we do is gossip and more gossip, comparing who is living a better life and of course eat. All the houses I visited stuffed me up like a pig. By not eating it would consider you as rude and not appreciating the host offerings.

Other than that, Raya seems to be a normal week laced up with food and cookies that couldn't be found on normal days. Born and bred in Kuala Lumpur doesn't seem to help much neither in getting into the Raya spirit.  I wonder how Raya celebration would be in 10 years time. Especially if my future spouse living in the same state as I am it would be tad boring. This explains why I want to live in California so badly.

The joy of exchanging cards, well lets not go there...

Ever since there's Facebook, I don't even received a greeting card anymore. Before that it was the mobile-text greeting craze, with all the forwarded Raya messages. But it seems Facebook seems to took over the wishing-department with a click away by tagging people on pictures or videos that associated with the occasion we wanted to wish our friends.

Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed their Raya week and please bring back cookies for me. Nothing with nuts please, as I don't enjoyed them much. For the ones driving back home from their hometown, please get adequate amount of sleep/rest before going on that long journey. Don't quench yourself with energy drink such as Red Bull thinking that it would give you the extra hours behind the wheels. 

Be safe everyone. 

Sidenotes:

Missing her Gulahati extra more than usual during Raya week, the funny thing is we're only an hour away from each other. Why Raya week must be extra melancholic than usual daily week?

The Muses they pray loud, for your listless journey to me.

I lost my passion to write lately.

Be it blogging, sketching stuff on my notebook and doodle craps on receipts.

Sort of hate it too when people seems to be twisting words out of my mouth or excerpts from this blog. Then used it as a reason to bring me down or hate me. Worst still when they make stories out of nothing. Defamation, and attempts to humiliate me seems like it's never going to end. 

I do believe frien-emies are reading this blog and checked up on the update more often than my boyfriend did. It's funny too when they seem to be updated upon it faster than my best-friends and loved ones. Oh well, the pain and joy of being a ce'web'rity do have it's consequences and I'm here to talk about it.

As some as you may know, something tragic happened earlier this week. Well thank goodness I made it out alive and well. I rather not elaborate it much here and I don't want to remember it, besides I decided to act normal and lived a normal daily life as usual. I am not offended or mad at anyone. 

Instead I want to say thank you to whoever did this for giving me a Merdeka Eve I would not forget. I am sure going to get you back someday, maybe not today or tomorrow. But someday I will.

I don't hold grudges, but I let it out easily without hesitate. Okay enough of this let us move on to something else worth remembering about.

Anyway Hari Raya is coming up soon, how's your Raya preparation going on?

Me, my sister Anis and Adlinur on the way back to granny's place last year Raya in our dad's faithful serving truck

I left all the shopping to my mum's hands. Apparently I'm going all white and pink for raya this year. Last year Raya I was a bit chubby due to eating like a pig, this year I lost weight after I start eating like a piglet instead.  (Don't know if you get the inside joke or not, but heck screw it) 

So wait up for this year pictures allright?

As I don't know when is the next time I'll be blogging again, I would to wish everyone a very Happy Hari Raya especially to my family, relatives, my Gulahati and friends, ex-boyfriends, enemies, soon to be enemies, and new friends I'm ought to make anytime. Forgive me if I do say something that hurt your feelings or mentally or physically. I am just a human, not a saint. Just like the old saying says, To err is Human, to forgive is Divine.

Drive safe, doesn't matter if you're heading a long journey or just around the corner. Don't forget to invite me to all the "delicious catering food that you claimed your mum cooked it" open house. Or worst still took it from other people's open house and heat it up and claimed it's yours. Okay, I know I just asked for forgiveness like 10 seconds ago and now here I am being sarcastic again.

Watch the calories, the sugar, the fat intake this coming festive week allright, be safe where ever you are and if we might crossed path anytime, just give me a shout, a text or a call and I'll try my very best to make ends meet for everyone.

Last but not least, besides cash, I do receive and accept cheques for Duit Raya.

Tee-Hee.

Selamat Hari Raya and Maaf Zahir Batin.

Sidenotes:

You will see one day, I’m here to stay. Hold your hand to me. We’ll find a way

Find me here, speak to me.

Hello world.

It's been 2 weeks without any updates from me. So I am here to blog that I am still alive. Thank you for the well wishes, text messages and phone calls.

I am sorry I couldn't return any of the calls or text messages as I needed time alone. No, I wasn't running away from anyone, not from you or them. 

Two weeks away from society gave me time to think and ponder about what's been going on in my life lately. Realized it's been one hell of a roller-coaster ride, or shall I add few bungee jumpings in the intervals of my drama. 

Yes, it's so confusing until I need a 2 weeks break

Thank you to a few friends which effortlessly being there for me when I need them. I don't know what would I've become without you and kindly appreciate each kind gesture you showed me.

So where have I've been for the past 2 weeks, that is for me to know and you to never find out.

I just want to put those 2 weeks far, far away from my mind and preferably not to remember it any time soon. But to those who knew, I hope it'll be our little secret.

Today like any ordinary day, I logged into my bank account to find out I've been blocked due to failed login attempts for 3 times. This what happens when your Facebook and bank account password are about the same. 

Yes, that's a silly me scenario.

Then I logged in into my Facebook to find lots of messages in my inbox and on my wall from everyone that's been concerning about my whereabouts.

I didn't knew I was so loved by everyone. Thank you again.

But no worries, I am doing fine. Been taken care of by my loved ones. Safe and sound at home.

I shall be up and blogging again with my crazy updates soon.

Let me leave you with an excerpt of a song that plays through my head all evening today to end this short blog post.

Everything by Lifehouse

Find me here, speak to me

I want to feel you, I need to hear you

You are the light that's leading me to the place

Where I find peace again

You are the strength that keeps me walking

You are the hope that keeps me trusting

You are the light to my soul

You are my purpose

You're everything 

And how can I stand here with you

And not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be any better than

this

You calm the storms and you give me rest

You hold me in your hands

You won't let me fall

You still my heart, and you take my breath away

Would you take me in take me deeper now

And how can I stand here with you 

And not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be any better than

this

And how can I stand here with you 

And not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be any better than

this

Cause you're all I want, 

You're all I need

You're everything... everything

You're all I want

You're all I need

You're everything... everything

Sidenotes:

Sometimes not all things dear in life would always be dear to us. Sometimes what's dear to us doesn't even know that they meant that much to us, which sometimes gave us the idea to let go of them.

As usual, with me confusion is nothing new.

I love the way I feel whenever I am with you.

Sometimes its the small things that gets you by.

The giggles, the way they smile, the way they eat, the way how their hugs makes you feel loved or simply the way they explained something.

Thats what makes a relationship goes round.

Not square nor triangle.

And thats the way I feel whenever time is spent with Gulahati.

We could be eating by the road side, lay down on the tarmac, stuck in the jam, but he always put a smile on my face, or better still always get me giggling until he doesn't understand why did I giggled.

Last Thursday night I had dinner at Monrods with Gulahati.

Since we went there after buka puasa time, the restaurant was quiet. Had my regular Lamb Chop while he had Black Pepper Chicken Chop.

Gulahati's Sparkling Blue Curacao and my Sparkling Blueberry

(Two thumbs up for the Blue Curacao)

Since there was no one else around, it was kind of peaceful having dinner just the two of us. Had dinner while watching Karate Kid on mute sound. It was peaceful until, the owner of the restaurant starts karaoke-ing dedicated each and every songs to us.

It was funny as hell, having two guys serenading songs to us. Felt special for a while. After we thought it was time for us to head back home, the owner of the restaurant treat us with free Monrod's Ice Blended and Caramel Pudding (forgotten to take picture of it).

Well its about time they treat us since I've been spending hundreds on them already. 

After dinner went back home since we're going to have a very long Friday.

Then yesterday, woke up with a shit load of tasks to do.

Went and settled traffic summons and renew the roadtax.

While waited for our turn to pay the summons, we met Po, the police cat.

Well his name is not Po, it's just shorten from the word Police, how lame was that? Haha.

(Pity him got stuck beside my boobies and Gulahati's arms)

Traffic summons that's worth a month basic salary. Yes, it was that much. So go figure. 

After paying up, settled the roadtax...the original plan was to go to The Curve and watch movie. Also planned to break our fast with Ikea meatballs.

Half-way to The Curve, Gulahati asked "Do you still want to eat meatballs?"

I was like, "No, why?"

"Then I'll take you elsewhere", he said.

"Where?" 

"If I tell you then it wouldn't be a surprise." "But I'm afraid you can't stand it.."

"Stand what?", I started to get curious.

He just continue driving, and kept mum about it.

We passed by Batu Caves and I asked, "Are you taking me to Batu Caves?"

He continues driving as if he didn't listen a single thing  I said. All the way until Ulu Yam. The road at Ulu Yam is sort of quiet filled with trees and it's a very long stretch of road.

"Sayang where are you taking me?"

"I'm selling you off to Thailand.."

"Woits, I'm asking properly.." (starting to get agitated)

Then he told me to sleep first as it's going to be a very long journey still. The funny thing was I did fell asleep. I didn't know why I was so sleepy. Probably because I woke up early.

I didn't know how long I slept, but I did woke up in the middle of the journey and asked him, "Why there's mist everywhere?"

He said it's due to the rain.

30 minutes later, I think. He woke me up again, "We've arrived"

Opened my eyes to this sight...

Genting?!

No wonder he said I might not stand it since I didn't bring any sweater, but it wasn't that cold anyway.

Okay I don't want to sound so jakun (primitive in English), but the last time I went to Genting I was 14 years old I think. So that was like what 9-10 years ago?

Hugged Gulahati and thanked him for the surprise, yes I was surprised!

But our journey didn't just ended there, something funny happened while we were at Genting. But I promised Gulahati not to mention it on blog as it was embarrassing. Not that embarrassing, but something we decided to keep it to ourselves. After all blundering everything on blog seems not to be appropriate at times. Some memories worth kept to ourselves. 

Anyway, we did break our fast at Genting at Only Mee and Friends Restaurant. Had a hot pot rice dish, which was delicious and not to forget 5 ringgit worth Teh Tarik.

5 ringgit per glass. Everything is so expensive at Genting, it's still the same F&N condensed milk and same unbranded tea they used.

Since it's 5 ringgit I need to put a picture up.

After that we went back to KL straight.

Stopped by Dataran, and Gulahati hang out with his friends while I sat in the car Facebook-ing through my phone on a crappy wireless service.

Then we head off for supper cum Sahur, as I got thirsty.

It's funny when our order arrived. Which I think it was just cute.

Blue for him and Pink for her

(It was merely a coincidence, I think)

Talked and giggled with Gulahati. It's nice knowing that  I made him happy.

I believed sometimes things happened for a reason, have you find yours?

Have a great weekend ahead Everyone.

Take care Loves.

Sidenotes:

Sometimes things have to fall apart in order for better things to fall in place.

Only the first day that matters

According to Gulahati...

First day of the fasting month matters a lot. It's one of the days besides Raya that is, family get together and break their fast together. So indirectly I'm telling I am breaking my fast alone today, since he's breaking his fast with his family.

Sigh.

But on the other hand, its glad to know he's a family man.

I like!

Well my day just didn't begin just like that today.

For a start, last night I was bored after talking on the phone with Gulahati I went on and fondle my phone. All the sudden it popped a reminder telling me my phone memory was full. Before I did get to do anything about it, the phone got stuck.

So I fondle even more.

Voila! I found an option says to reset my phone memory.

Sheepishly I just tap on the screen and poof!

It took 10 mins to actually reset everything to manufacturer standard. Then after followed the instructions, the phone was back on functioning again.

Only then I realised, I just did something stupid.

When it went on reset, apparently it deleted my contacts too. Okay I know, I know I am so stupid like that when it comes to technology. Even sometimes when Gulahati was explaining stuff to me about gadgets or cars, I'll be like "Uh huh, with that look as if you understand but actually it sounds as if he was talking in robotic language."

Then I got so pissed with the phone, I decided to just head off to bed after drinking my strawberry milk which was also my dinner.

ZzzzZZZzzzZZZZzzzZZZzz......

Up until 3.23am, received a call from Melbourne asking me to wake up for sahur. How thoughtful was that? Thanks to Abang Adri for effortlessly tried waking me up, all the way from Melbourne.

After talked to him on the phone, which I didn't remember what I actually babbled. I fell asleep again.

Up until 5 am, received a call from Azri Aizat asking me to wake up for Sahur probably...but I didn't answer the phone. Then received an sms asking me to wake up, I was like...

I'm so lucky having such friends. 

Do call me more and wake me up everyday for Sahur okay? Hehe.

Anyway to cut the story short, I didn't eat nor drink anything for Sahur and dozed off till morning. Dozed off till morning was a thing, waking up late was another thing.

I woke up all the sudden today, telling myself "Why my alarm isn't waking me up?"

Turned around and looked for my phone.

945 am?! I'm suppose to be out by now. Thank goodness, Gulahati called me asking me whether am I fasting today or not. Or else I would probably snoozed till god knows when.

I was so tempted to buy yogurt drink at the grocery store below my place, but I told myself just try make it through the day.

Yummy, gulp, burp?

I am so proud of myself, I am still sitting still not craving for food nor drink.

Gulahati said it's Impressive.

Okay that's a short update for today, let us see how am I breaking my fast today. Probably could be a piece for a blog post tomorrow?

Few more hours people, few more hours. 

Be strong.

Sidenotes:
The reason why I am afraid is because there is only One of you, Gulahati.

Holy-Moly-Wholly-Month.

Finally the month of resting yourself from sin is here.

No food, no drink, no hanky-panky, kissy-mushy from dawn up until dusk.

From dawn to dusk?

Meaning after dusk can party and get busy all night. 

Okay I am joking mummy and daddy, I know you're reading this. 

I haven't astray myself from my faith that far yet. I still know my right and wrong. Just that I haven't been practicing it thats all. I think if my mummy haven't been praying for my safety and wellness I might have been dead by now.

I do believe God accept the little deeds we do, like I always tell myself at least I tried.

Unlike some people, I still know the basic in my religion teachings.

I am not that bad okay? Although some people think that I am. People tend to be judgmental, so be it.

Compared to a few friends who doesn't even know how to recite their doa makan (Eating prayers? I don't know what its called in English)  at the age of 27 years old.

Anyway, Gulahati and I just want to wish my fellow readers Happy Fasting Month ahead. May we all manage to pull through this month without resenting to sins and temptations. Mainly pointing this at myself.

Don't forget to Sahur (Eat early morning, again I don't know what is it in English and I'm so lazy to Google it)

Don't speak bad of others. Although that time they deserve it much.

Don't....well there are many do and don'ts during this fasting month and I think you guys know it well and doesn't need me to explain it here.

Take good care of yourself people.

Love you all always.

Sidenotes:

Normal days I look forward to lunch or dinner with Gulahati.

Fasting month?

I look forward to break my fast or Sahur with him. 

Love it how things are working out fine now.

2 days and 1 night

No, it wasn't a holiday but I did had a chance to sleep on the tarmac pavement and gazed at the stars with Gulahati. Yes, it was so romantic trust me. Although the sky was clear and no stars to gaze at.

Before your mind start wondering elsewhere, let me just recap what happened last weekend.

Saturday evening Gulahati asked me whether I want to accompany him to an autoshow in Sepang. Being a newbie in this autoshow arena, without thinking twice I decided to go.

After all when else I do get to spend time with Gulahati? Normal movie routine, shopping and dinner date is starting to bore me out. So accompanying him to an autoshow is another variety of activities we could do to spend time together.

Tuners Fest 2010 Motorsport Festival in conjunction with MMER

The Merdeka Millennium Endurance (MME), the brainchild of the Sepang International Circuit Chairman, is one of the premier local Malaysian events with strong international recognitions. It has made its mark in the national’s motorsports history by being the first 12-hour endurance race organised and promoted by locals.

For the local motorsports enthusiasts, the MME is much awaited for every year since 2000. The 12 – hour endurance will definitely put the drivers’ skill, teams’ management and the machines to the limits. The team will have three drivers who will race for at least 70 minutes being before allowed to switch.

Registration ends at midnight. So to cut the story short we arrived around 11.30 pm at Sepang International Circut, SIC. Arrived and parked the faithful Mira, at the designated area and set up everything.

The real judgement is on Sunday, but was told to be there on Saturday night to make the event livelier and to support the MMER. So all we did on Saturday night was ate, chat, talk, giggle, and eat again with Gulahati and his friends.

By 3am I felt sleepy, went into the car and slept.

Actually it was very noisy, as the race was going on. But due to a very heavy eye plus I had an eyesore, all that was put aside and I just dozed off to sleep very peacefully. 

Very peaceful until 8 am the next day.

Woke up, changed into new clothes and try to look as if I bathe by rubbing perfume. Which I obviously didn't, hehe.

Anyway set up the place and off we went breakfast. Sadly to say all the Nasi Lemak was sold out and we ended up having A&W for breakfast. It's hard finding good food at SIC. Ate at the grandstand watching the race which was still on.

Trust me it wasn't a nice experience. I feel like vomiting back my Coney Dog due to the vibration of the cars passing by in my tummy and not to forget it vibrates through my throat or shall I emphasized larynx?

I don't get it whats the joy of watching a car race. How people would pay hundreds for grandstand tickets, might as well I use the money to buy myself a new bag.

Or sneakers.

Need to buy something for myself (hinting Gulahati for a shopping spree, since I know he is reading this, haha).

After breakfast, set up the car and waited for the judgement time. 

But it was so hot we decided to sit in the car instead enjoying the power of a Honda Jazz aircond. 

So breezy and cooling and I almost fell asleep. To kill time, decided to camwhore in the car with my crazy Gulahati.

So hot and I got burned

Yes, we are that bored and decided to fondle people's car

When things get a little bored in the car, Gulahati told me to go out and snap pictures so that I could blog about it and also so that he could have a collection of it too.

So I walked around and captured hundreds of pictures, these are a few of it. For more of the event coverage, please check out my Flickr online album as I don't want to crowd this whole post with pictures.  The link is on the left side of this blog.

Among few of the contestants

Gulahati, Abang Man and their cars.

Two happy guys and a palm tree

The judgement end around 2 pm or so. We head down for lunch after that at this Mak Cik stall, well to cut the story short her food sucks.

Okay now I'm like stuck what else to write... 

In conclusion, both Gulahati and Abang Man won something inclusive of cash and trophies.

We headed home straight after everything was over.

Well my day didn't just ended there.

Went home, washed up and finally bathe for the day. 

Around 8 pm Gulahati picked me up again and off we went to Sunway Pyramid to catch a movie.

I've been longing to watch Inception as I heard the review was superb. But due to only front seats left, we watched Tekken.

It was so boring, and should have watch Salt instead. I fell asleep through the movie. Not recommended for the females out there, even if you want to be sweet to accompany your guy who wants to watch Tekken, my advice is don't.

Went back home and did laundry.

Dozed off till this morning and woke up to the sound of sms from Gulahati.

What a weekend of fun I had, thanks to Gulahati I enjoyed my time at SIC very much.

Have a great week ahead everyone.

Sidenotes:

I think I lost weight, but yet to be prove. 

Need to find myself a weighing scale or go somewhere secluded to weigh myself.