:*: Emotions Taking Me Over :*:

"Dual Emotions" - Rita Loyd

I think that is my problem. I hate emotions. All of them. No doubt. I have told myself that any rational action must be completely void of any emotion, when really, the opposite is true. Some kind of emotion is necessary.

I should not be the basis, but should be present.

I learned a long time ago, that emotions lie. That is true. Emotions can make you think that something is true when it isn't. If you let them run you, then you will never be consistant. Of course, emotions can also tell the truth. Like if you are passionate about something, and you feel strongly about what you beilieve it invokes a responsible emotional response.

The problem is, the lies and the truth can be both positive and negative emotions. It requires rational thinking to differentiate. Of course rational thinking that is void of emotion is the other extreme. Reason, when dealing with emotional people, often does not make sense. So there is a fine line between what is proper emotion to behave, and times to be reserved.

I have been really introspective recently.

Why?

I do not know.

Perhaps what someone told me made me think more about myself. Oh well...

I guess that what I do is try to tell myself that my emotions don't exist, or that they are always not the right answer. I guess this is what is called suppressing. Of course this leads to outbursts. Then, I feel bad about letting my emotions control me, so I just end up being frustrated, which I think makes me worse.

Also, I tend to when I do express myself emotionally, people don't want to hear it or they start laughing. Apparently when I express myself, it never seems a very positive outcome.

I don't really have much more to say. But, I wish someone would show up at my door, and want to hang out.

So I could be around someone.

:*: Lost and Found :*:

Whoa.

The last time I've blogged was 31st October, Halloween Day. I got captured by some Hooligans and nearly being stewed to death, but I escaped myself today and here I am. Haha, ok. That was a pathetic start for someone who haven't been blogging for quite some time.

So...miss me ?

Frequent visitors of this "rantville-blog" of mine must have thought that I've broke up with my blog or something. My blog is my open decoy-diary, haha I could never leave her.

I was just busy enjoying my holiday. Those who knew me well sure knows that, once Eryn gets her Holiday, she'll do nothing but Holiday-ing. Haha.

Went out yesterday. Original plan was meeting up Tareeq for breakfast, then off to Bakry's house to visit his mum, who's on leave till tomorrow. But end up playing "hide and go seek and run away" for 2 hours infront of Rasta with Tareeq. Then got chased with a cab until Bakry's house. Ugh, long story. You wouldn't wanna know.

Called Aishah while hanging out in the park and the villa, only she knows why I'm so happy. Had chocolate fest with Tareeq. Ate too much of chocolate and end up hyper till the night. He bought me my favourite of Toblerone, and I repay his Toblerones with Cadbury Dairy Milk, which end up in my stomach too haha.

Off to see Tareeq again on Friday. Haha, can't wait.

As for now, here I am.

:*: Food for Thought :*:

Excerpt of my Yahoo Messenger conversations with Bakry:

- Miss Eryn -: hows berbuka
- LiL B -: ok
- LiL B -: not bad
- LiL B -: tengah makan now
- Miss Eryn -: me 2 hours lagi
- Miss Eryn -: waaaaa
- Miss Eryn -: at 6 im going out jap
- Miss Eryn -: beli food
- Miss Eryn -: makan apa
- LiL B -: ada
- LiL B -: nasi and chicken curry
- LiL B -: but the curry is thick curry
- LiL B -: urgh
- LiL B -: thick nyeerr
- Miss Eryn -: mesti tak sedap
- Miss Eryn -: eryn's curry lagi sedap kan ?
- LiL B -: u ada buat ke?
- Miss Eryn -: im alergic to curry la
- LiL B -: bukan ke
- Miss Eryn -: cannot smell curry
- LiL B -: u buat
- LiL B -: custard tak jadi?
- Miss Eryn -: mesti nose itchy
- Miss Eryn -: dont la remind
- LiL B -: lol
- Miss Eryn -: at least i did TRY to cook SOMETHING for you
- Miss Eryn -: bukan cam awak
- Miss Eryn -: telur pun dunno how to goreng
- LiL B -: please la
- LiL B -: i make the best
- LiL B -: scrambled eggs ok
- Miss Eryn -: scramble eggs
- Miss Eryn -: telur sunny side up awak tak tahu buat kan
- Miss Eryn -: awak buat mesti hancur
- Miss Eryn -: nyahahaha
- LiL B -: awak yang tak tahu
- LiL B -: cakap banyak
- Miss Eryn -: i tahu goreng telur ok

Haha, he remembered the time when I tried to do Corn Custard Pudding for him which turns out to be a very watery Corn Custard Pudding that ended up in the sink.

I'm suck at cooking, not like Aishah who's good at baking, and cooking. I'm so jealous of her. My standard of cooking is just enough to survive the day.

I miss Bakry, I miss the times we spent together. I miss the times when I tried to cook to impressed him, and end up getting food poisoning, haha ok..that was just a little bit exaggerating.

Oh Bakry, how I miss you and everything we've gone through.

:*: Happy Holidays Everybody :*:

Hey how's everyone ?

I hope everyone is alright. Sorry for not posting for weeks. I was kinda busy with life. Get too carried away with my freedom after finishing my exam which I did quite well. Yes, I know you missed me. Haha.

Finally holidays are here. Happy Deepavali and Selamat Hari Raya to everyone especially to my friends. Feel free to bank in "raya money" to my bank account. If you do wanna do that please make sure its more than 10 bucks, cause I'm pretty broke at the moment.

Holiday plans ?

I'll be off to Singapore for raya, cause that's where my hometown is. Then I'll be back to KL for few days, and off to langkawi from the 9th till 12th November with my cousins. This year decided to spend the holiday in the country itself because dad's busy with work.

Then I'll be back in KL, attending your house to collect my raya debts, haha joking. I have Biology assignments to do, I have to dissect a white mouse on the 12th and 13th December, ecology and herbarium projects. I'm stressed, but for now I wanna enjoy life and collect as much money I want.

So I hope everybody will have fun this holiday season. Feel free to call or text me cause I don't think I'll be online much for this coming week.

Take care people and please remember that I love you guys, so don't go hurt yourself over the holidays.

Sidenotes:
It seems like my semi-hiatus period would be extended a bit longer, sorry.

:*: Hey Sunshine ! :*:

My Lovely Sunshine

It feels nice someone calling me Sunshine, sadly he's not even my boyfriend.

Sidenotes:
Exam was reschedule to Friday and Saturday. Meaning tomorrow and Thursday I have no papers to sit for.

14/10/2005
-Biology (Paper 1 & 2)

15/10/2005
-Maths (Paper 2)
-General Studies (Paper 1)

Darn, Maths on a Saturday ?

:*: Happy 16th Birthday Tareeq :*:

I just want to say, Happy Birthday
To you, my dear, dear friend.
You have always been there for me
And our friendship will never end.

So on this very special day
I would like to say to you,
I hope you'll always find happiness
In what ever you may do.

*Thanks for that inspirational song you wrote for me yesterday, that was sweet. Well, the thought of writing it was sweet and it was even sweeter when you sang on the phone for me last night. I'll cherish that always my friend.

For you who's wondering who's Tareeq, here he is :


He's gonna kill me for putting up this picture

*Decided to post this a day earlier since I might not come online tomorrow

Meanwhile, I'm going to berbuka puasa with Tareeq and Aishah at KLCC next week, yay ! By then my exams are over. Let us together party !

I'm having Chemistry paper tomorrow, Nick's favourite subject, haha wish me luck ! Gotta go study now, toodles.

:*: It's All About Me :*:

Funny. But I don't care much for other people any more. There seem to be a few people that matter to me, and that's all that kinda matters.

No I haven't changed. I'm not less fun for myself, I still enjoy my own company a great deal, it's just that it's a lot less fun for them when they realize that its tiring screwing around. Most girls aren't fools, even the really insecure ones.

Sooner or later, someone better will come along, someone that will actually be worth their time, and they wouldn't think twice about forgetting what you once meant to them. And it's just too bad. Isn't it.

Parties, sitting around eating very happy pizzas, that's all kinda fun and I'll do it when I feel like it but its quite pathetic to ask for an invite to these things, isn't it, and its silly to think that they'd be fun anyway if you don't already know the people intimately.

I've just realized the things that matter and the things that don't. Most times, most things don't matter. There's nothing more important than amusement and keeping yourself happy, and giving up something good now for the sake of the future proves you're not free, you're still locked in by time.

The people that presume they live the hedonistic life aren't actually living the hedonistic life. They're really thinking about being locked down to one person, so they do their best not to. Although they might be happier and less pathetic if they actually appreciated the things in front of them; the women that come their way.

It doesn't make sense to me. I'm with Bakry now, and it's too late for everyone else, and it wasn't as if they weren't given a chance, but it's not like it would have worked out anyway. I couldn't stand most of them. But it just seems ridiculous to me that its only after I'm not available that they start making an effort at trying to talk to me. It's quite pathetic.

Don't you think ?

:*: If I was worth a Price Tag :*:

If I was worth a Price Tag

I always wondered how they put on barcodes on stuff in the supermarket, shops, etc. It looks unique to me, the lines, the numerical codes the put below the lines. Impressed me pretty much who came up with the brilliant idea to use codes to tag stuff.

As part of my semi-hiatus bloggin', I decided to search about Barcodes on Yahoo.com and encountered a website where you can create your own barcode, all you have to do is enter your personal information ( don't worry nothing too personal ), all they asked was gender, age, height, weight, country and not even your name.


The meaning of the bars and numbers

All of the calculations in Barcode Yourself are based on real world facts, gathered from the Internet. Data like the Gross Domestic Product of each country. Lichtenstein is #1, USA #2, and Sierra Leone is last. From the Center for Disease control, the Body Mass Index was used to figure out how healthy a person is based on height and weight and so forth.


The Description

*Tag me*

Sidenotes:
As stated on previous post, exams starting on Monday, darn.

:*: Exam and Fasting Blues :*:

I'm gonna have exam soon, approximately 12 days more which is on the 10th of Oct. Starting the exam week with Maths ! Haha, you guys know I hate Maths so much. Like very very much. Wish me luck, and good luck to you too if you're having exam.

My exam schedule as follows:
10/10/2005
-Maths (Paper 1)
-General Studies (Paper 2)

11/10/2005
-Chemistry (Paper 1 & 2)

12/10/2005
-Biology (Paper 1 & 2)

13/10/2005
-Maths (Paper 2)

14/10/2005
-General Studies (Paper 1)

Puasa coming ! If I'm not mistaken on the 5th of Oct. Argh exam on fasting month. Happy Fasting to all my muslim friends. Jangan ponteng puasa ya ! Don't termakan or anything, and guys no such thing as period reason ok ? Lol.

I miss my Bakry, have to wait like 2 months more till he's back for the holiday. Sayang awak Boosuk.

Kittens

My cat Miera had just gave birth almost a month ago. Below are some of the kittens pictures. I'll update more soon.