Okay, so I haven't been writing entries. I've been busy. What Eryn? Been holidae-ing again? Actually, no. Lately I've been cornered by loads of homework. In fact, the past few weeks my days have been like this:
Class, Come home, Study/Homework, Sleep.
Repetitive? Boring? Yes, very. When your life is nothing but educational work it gets to a point where you really wonder why the hell you're doing all of it. Besides the fact that high grades get you into a fancy university. Why exactly do we "need" to know what we're studying? There's a shitload of useless information our brain memorizes from school.
So, what has my brain been up to lately? Nothing much really...well, maybe a big shift in my attitude towards emotions and how others feel.
Argh, a frightening thing happened yesterday. My broadband modem thingy died and I had to spend the day WITHOUT THE INTERNET, OH GOD NO. Ok well it wasn't that bad.
Eh... Sometimes, I really wonder why on earth I'm so attached to certain things in my life. It's silly, illogical, irrational and ultimately all it does is make me feel like crap. Then again, it does give me a sense of... completion? I don't know.
Senseless emotion rambles are so boring.
I ramble too much sometimes about things that will never have an end. There was no closure to that. There was never a conclusion, it was all just a silly ruse to avoid the problem again. Now, the problem continues to infest my mind and my heart weighs heavier day, after day, after day. Actually, to be more specific I've got two of these going on right now. What in the blazes am I suppose to do?
You know, I really don't understand some people in this world. That or I'm just getting a bunch of false messages from their actions. It's like "Hey what up, I'm going to shove on a mask even though thats what drove you away last time" or it was "Hi, I'm an insensitive and inconsiderate jerk."
I was watching a show downstairs with my parents. It was some lame chinese soap opera about a detective dude who seemed to be the chinese equivalent of Indiana Jones/ Sherlock Holmes who can kick royal kung fu ass.
Anyway, there's a cheesy love story in it (like all god-awful soap operas) and the woman who's supposively "in love" with Mr.Chinese-Sherlock-Holmes is so fucking complex and unreasonable.
I mean, she claims she loves him but she's almost always being such an inconsiderate wench. That and she loves to argue with him, I swear she never tries to understand what he's doing/saying or really try and make things work out when there's a problem. She had this whole "Oh this isn't working, forget it" attitude.
What the shizzle? If you want to be with them then show you do and put some effort into staying together. Instead of going all "Hey, we argue too much and we're not working out right now. Lets break up so we can both feel depressed for the rest of our lives."
Oh, there's a part I love about this series because it's so ironically stupid. The guy's going to die from an evil curse thing the next sunrise or something dumb like that and she gets all upset/depressed, cries and everything. So they spend that one day being all happy and what not. Then he dies. Then what happens? She becomes majorly depressed and thinks about him non-stop whilst crying herself to sleep every night or something.
It's like gee lady, kind of late now that he's dead don't you think? Miraculously, I don't know how but somehow he was revived about a week later, then they become a happy couple and what not.
Yay? No... about 2 episodes later (now) she gets all angry with him again and goes back to acting the way she was. Seriously, the guy should fake dying or something. *shakes head*
Anyway, it was funny when I was watching it with my parents at the dinner table. My dad and I were both basically like "What the hell? Why on earth did she just do that. Why do woman like to complicate things like that?" (Yes, my father and I agreed on something. Amazing.) Then my mom was like "I'm a woman and even I think shes really annoying/stupid. I mean, why does she always do this when she clearly loves him?"
That made my day. People like that really agitate me in a negative way. But you know who makes me even more annoyed? The detective guy. He's still madly in love with her for some odd reason. What an idiot eh?
Oh man, I hate myself.
Now for something completely different: I'm like, really tired of this. I regret it and well..I want to... blah, nevermind. It's too late for me to be forgiven now, it's too late for me to turn back .
I only wish you're happy now. I really hope this is working out... if it's not I'm so sorry, so, so, so sorry... again, I don't deserve forgiveness.
I know we shouldn't forget, it'd just be the same as running away huh?
That's never the answer but... I'm sorry.
