Had a sleepless night yesterday (I think it's been numerous times I start my post with this line, it seems like I never have a peaceful sleep, haha).
Tossed and turned and roll-over like a rabbit burned its tail. Yes all fluffy yet with a hint of smoked-ass. Hate it when my heart and my mind is not at par, and that leads to my body going astray. Went to bed thinking of what I said during the day and regretted actually saying it.
Sometimes the mouth says things I don't want to, in order for someone to be happy. But at the same time I wished the things I said didn't come true so that I'll be happy. Sometimes we're merely selfish people.
But yesterday I decided not to be selfish, because I just want to be good for once.
Crossed fingers and twitched my eyes whole day and hope I was making the right decision.
Which I thought I did, but in the end resulted to a sleepless night battled with pillows, the bed, blanket and myself.
If only the pillows could talk, he would say "Your tears are pretty salty Eryn and stop hugging me that hard."
If the bed could talk last night, he would say "Sleeping on this side of the bed is not going to cure anything."
If the blanket could talk, he would say "Covering yourself up with me is not going to make you feel any better neither."
It's funny how I always thought myself as a tough-cookie and not letting small things bugs me out. But when it really hit my nerves, I realised just like any other girls I am very sensitive.
Like very.
I'm not even going to get mad anymore. I just got to learn to expect the lowest from people I thought the highest of.
Letting myself breathe, because I realised I haven't been breathing lately. Brain merely functioned on persuasive heart and things that I thought was enough for me.
One form of loving is when you want the best for someone, whether it includes you or not. So as long as everyone's happy, I'm happy.
Happy Monday everyone.
Sidenotes:
Someday someone might come into your life in a way you've always wanted.
If your someday was yesterday, learn.
If your someday is tomorrow, hope.
If your someday is today, cherish.
