What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?

Had a sleepless night yesterday (I think it's been numerous times I start my post with this line, it seems like I never have a peaceful sleep, haha).

Tossed and turned and roll-over like a rabbit burned its tail. Yes all fluffy yet with a hint of smoked-ass. Hate it when my heart and my mind is not at par, and that leads to my body going astray. Went to bed thinking of what I said during the day and regretted actually saying it.

Sometimes the mouth says things I don't want to, in order for someone to be happy. But at the same time I wished the things I said didn't come true so that I'll be happy. Sometimes we're merely selfish people. 

But yesterday I decided not to be selfish, because I just want to be good  for once.

Crossed fingers and twitched my eyes whole day and  hope I was making the right decision.

Which I thought I did, but in the end resulted to a sleepless night battled with pillows, the bed, blanket and myself.

If only the pillows could talk, he would say "Your tears are pretty salty Eryn and stop hugging me that hard."

If the bed could talk last night, he would say "Sleeping on this side of the bed is not going to cure anything."

If the blanket could talk, he would say "Covering yourself up with me is not going to make you feel any better neither."

It's funny how I always thought myself as a tough-cookie and not letting small things bugs me out. But when it really hit my nerves, I realised just like any other girls I am very sensitive.

Like very.

I'm not even going to get mad anymore. I just got to learn to expect the lowest from people I thought the highest of. 

Letting myself breathe, because I realised I haven't been breathing lately. Brain merely functioned on persuasive heart and things that I thought was enough for me.

One form of loving is when you want the best for someone, whether it includes you or not. So as long as everyone's happy, I'm happy.

Happy Monday everyone.

Sidenotes:

Someday someone might come into your life in a way you've always wanted.

If your someday was yesterday, learn.

If your someday is tomorrow, hope.

If your someday is today, cherish.

Fedoras Hats are Sexy.

It's raining heavily as I typed this. 

Like so heavy, I could barely see the road at a glance as I tilt my head peeking across the computer screen.

Anyway, hello everyone.

How's your weekend so far? Good? Tiring? Full of happiness or just plain boring? 

Mine?

Sitting down with a restless heart worrying about something I should not be worried about.

But a risk taker as usual, let the day worry itself and let this fake smile covers up my worn heart. 

Had a Chicken Day yesterday.

Eat too much chicken until I pooped out an egg this morning.

Went out with Gulahati to Sunway Pyramid, for what random normal people do on a weekend. 

Lunch and movie.

Out of all the shops in Sunway Pyramid, we ended up having lunch at Kenny Rogers. Usual 1/4 chicken meal with 3 side dishes. Ate like a pig because I went out without having any breakfast.

After lunch, we went and watch movie. 

Ong Bak 3 : The Final Battle

(Yes, I know it's a bit tad late for us to watch it and it was Gulahati choice)

For start, I did not watch the first and second installation of the movie. But he convinced me that it's not like Twilight Saga and I don't have to watch the first and second to understand the third one. So I just agreed and watched it. First 20 minutes was okay as all the martial arts jumping and clenching fists got my adrenaline pumping. But then it starts to bug me out as trying to read the subtitles (I don't speak Thailand) at the same time trying to watch the movie is like trying to rap and drink water through your nostrils.

Trust me, the movie was boring. But I stayed up along the movie until it finishes. As I turned my head, Gulahati was sleeping. 

Yes, sleeping.

Hate it when guys sleep during a movie when it starts to get a bit boring. I myself, would stay and watch until the movie finishes in order to make sure the money I paid for the tickets are worth it. But oh guys, they don't seem to value things as much as we girls do.

After movie, we got bored so we went shopping!

Okay probably the exclamation ( ! ) mark sounds a bit exaggerating as we only bought one item after walking aimlessly for an hour.

Gulahati wanted to buy a hat. 

Then we stumbled across some super-cool looking hats at Wild Channel. I am not, by nature, a hat person, but I wish with all my heart that I was, but they just don't look right on me. But Gulahati, on the other hand, found a few that I really liked (and he did, too, once I told him that he looked good in them, powers of persuasion).  The ones we were so attracted to were fedoras, the hat you think of when you think of Frank Sinatra. 

Love, love, love it. 

I like the fedora of the 1940s-50s best, especially since the 1970s-80s brought the longer-brimmed one that you often see paired with a zoot suit and a feather in the band. This is a throwback from the 1920s "gangster/mafia" fedora.

After browsing the shelves, Gulahati tried several on that he really liked, and bought one yesterday.  

Here he is, the man in the dark-grey-almost black one I got for him.

He is so going to kill me for this candid picture.

So Jason Derulo-lah!

(an inside joke only he understands)

After bored of walking aimlessly again, we went for a potato snack : Ireland Potatoes. A small barrel of potatoes which cost RM 8.80. Expensive to me, but heck it was delicious. Order the ones with Honey Mustard dressing, but someone so brilliant, Gulahati decided to add chili sauce and I ended up fuming my tongue with a burning-sensation.

We catched another movie again after that, and for the sake of supporting our local film, we watched Mantra. It wasn't scary, actually but it did managed to keep me awake a few times last night at wee-hours of the morning. 

Now I am cracking my back as I type this. 

After movie we went to Meru, Klang for the best Chicken-Soto proclaimed by Gulahati. 

As who don't have a clue what's Chicken-Soto, it's erm...cubes of rice, with fried rice-noodles, chicken floss and chicken soup? 

Haha, I don't know if my explanation is even right. But yes, it was awesome-ly tasty! The soup is very clear, non-gravy like but the taste was, well you have to try it then you have a clue what I'm talking about. Forget to take picture of it. 

Okay enough of babbling, I shall go eat my super-late-lunch now.

Have a great week ahead people.

Sidenotes:

All this dieting, made me less craving for meals. Hungry yet I just couldn't force food down my throat.

Oh hope I wake up skinny tomorrow and the days to come.

Mmmm whatcha say, Gulahati?

What a day I had last night. Screaming, yelling and singing to Jason Derulo songs. Oh yes, I was there like a true groupie-fan. Let the best pictures I'd chosen to load below speaks for themselves.

I watched the whole press conference at Skybar, Traders Hotel.

When night falls, I watched the whole showcase at Dragonfly. 

Okay to make you extra jealous, here's one of the video recorded.

As you're reading this some might say, lucky her.

Yes, lucky me.

I watched the whole press conference and showcase, from my handphone after bluetooth-ed it last night. Thanks to Gulahati who was in charged for the whole press conference and showcase last night. Thats the benefit of working in an event management company. You get to work yet watch performances. 

Actually I really wanted to go, and was waiting for the tickets from my friend, Zash. But since there's no feedback I didn't bother to ask much from him.

Last night, Gulahati wanted to bring me over there too, but he was busy and had to be there from the beginning of the showcase till the end. So he couldn't come over and pick me up.

So I did my own business and accompanied my friends to pick up some document in Subang and on my way I received a text message from Zash.

"Where are you?"

Thought that he texted me just to annoy and remind me he's at Dragonfly and waiting for Jason to throw him his boxers to the crowd, I called him straight.

"Yea, yea..I know you're watching Jason Derulo. Oh shut up."

Then he replied, "Last minute, my boss couldn't make it. Do come now."

"What??"

I grumbled.

Well as much as I wanted to go, I was only dress in my jeans and t-shirt and was already on the way for dinner at Ara Damansara.

Oh well, in Malay we say "Tak ada rezeki la tu...", in other words, "Just my luck.."

After dinner, I went home straight and cuddled with my blanket. Called Gulahati and he said he was on his way coming back home and asked me out for supper.

Of course without hesitation I said yes, since I was bored.

In the car, he told me. 

"To screw up your Thursday morning (since it was already midnight), let me show you something"

Thinking he was going to show me something that really going to get on my nerve, I was mentally prepared.

Ta-da!

Videos and pictures of Jason Derulo's press conference and showcase.

Thank god I love him. Or else that Nokia e71 of his would be thrown out of the window, for making me jealous he got to say hi to Jason when it was supposed to be me over there giving Jason a hug.

After supper, Gulahati wants to eat Durian. So we stopped and bought a durian. Asked the Uncle who sells the durian to carved it open for us, put it in the car and off we go looking for a place to eat.

Well he ate it most of it. I only took a bite.

Went home, back cuddling with my blanket and snoozed till this morning.

Okay, thats about it.

Have a nice day everyone.

Before I end this post let me leave you with a phrase I read yesterday evening.

"When we are happy some people will not like it. They will try to disapprove our happiness. They will say it will not last. They will take great pleasure looking for the cracks in our worlds. Just smile at these people, for they know not what we know."

Sidenotes:

I am very Contented with my loved ones around me.

Oh by the way, Gulahati means Sweetheart in English.

Gula = Sweet, Hati = Heart.

It's time to take a risk, sweetheart.

Had a hard time sleeping last night.

Cam-whoring is a healthy way to cure boredom

Firstly because I was bored, someone in the house broke the TV. Came back home and saw the TV on the floor and I thought the house was robbed or someone argued in the living room and tossed the TV like WWE show.

Apparently some itchy-itchy-scratchy hand went and press the off button which wasn't supposed to be touched at all. Now I need to sleep somewhere with a TV or else I'll die out of boredom. I still could live without food but heck no TV? Well it's not as chronic as no hand phone. That's another different story.

When I'm bored my mind tends to wonder elsewhere. I started to think over the phone conversations I had over during the day and I was sort of bothered by it. Deeply bothered by it. I did eventually fall asleep in the end. 

Oh well, I guess it's time to take a risk sweetheart.

Wishes everyone a good day today. With lots of sunshine and love on the side line.

Sidenotes:

Received comments in Facebook inbox asking me to turn on my Comment option on my blog. Sorry to say but I don't blog to receive comments nor expect people to give their two cents on my posts. I don't expect people to read it neither. But I do welcomed feedbacks on my Facebook. That's why my Facebook is a little bit private to me.

But come to think of it, nothing is ever private on the net. Once it's on the wire it's everywhere.

It's funny too finding strangers telling me they like my blog. I think it's just a normal almost daily rambling of my day and night..

Just like this message I received yesterday.

With all the good and bad comments (well mostly good), I'm kind of surprised I'm not an action figure by now.

Write it on the sky, Love.

I am so happy today.

For no freaking reason seriously.

People around me asked, "Why you're so happy Eryn?" and I said "I don't know".

Maybe I woke up on the right side of the bed. But my bed is pushed to my wall, and without a choice I always wake up on the right side on my bed. 

Or probably I had a peaceful sleep last night. Beautiful and blank without dream sleep. 

Or probably it was the painkillers I took before I went to bed early last night due to tummy cramp and slightly feverish. How I wished now I'm a guy, period is not something I like to go through with every month.

Or probably it was Love, the reason I'm glowing and gleaming like a dork.

Probabilities is like choices put in a barrel and waited for someone to knock it over and you take whatever is coming your way or at you.

Probabilities for good things to come and bad things thrown at you at the same time is basically the same rate. No one suffers from something they won't be able to face it. God is not that cruel to it's subjects.

So far I am doing fine, great in fact. 

Happy and contented.

Sidenotes:

Some said I have my temper at times, but deep down inside I am a softy.

Or else why would I cried when I listen to lovey-dovey songs?

(Short post today, as I am happily blank in my head)

From KL to Paroi and Back to KL again with Love.

Hello everyone before I do start on today's blog, I would like to highlight one thing about my Feedjit widget on the left side on this blog, do feel free to leave your name so I know each of my faithful readers and followers.

Good day my fellow readers. Hope everyone had a splendid weekend so far like I did. 

So let me bore you with my weekend updates. 

Friday, I didn't do much. Consist of lazing around in the house watching CSI, NCIS and Simpsons and cuddling with my pillows and bed. One big airy room could always cheers me up without fail. Went to sleep early because I had a tummy ache due to having my only meal for the day at 9 pm, thanks to my loved one who bailed me out on me to have lunch. 

Around 3 am nearly 4, received a phone call from my loved ones asking whether I would like to follow their trip to Paroi in Negeri Sembilan for an autoshow organized by the Youth Society of Negeri Sembilan. I was drowsy due to the after effect of painkillers, and was told to made decision in 10 minutes by returning the phone call. Instead of making decision whether I would like to follow or not, I decided to snooze my eyes another 10 minutes. Called back and said yes. I do need a road trip anyway since it's been a while since I went out of KL and Selangor area. 

Was told to be ready around 6 am because it's going to be a long trip to Negeri Sembilan. 

Shah Alam to Negeri Sembilan actually would only take 2 hours maximum if the traffic was smooth, but we had to wait for another 2 cars who's tagging along to join the autoshow. Besides we stopped for breakfast and also stopped for a quick car wash. The journey wasn't that long thanks to LKSA, the new high way which bores me to death looking at the stretch of road consists of palm trees along the road and more and more palm trees until we reached Paroi. 

Let the pictures below explained what a day I had yesterday.

Actually I took a lot of pictures, but not the entire auto show event. Due to everyone is busy with their cars, I didn't dare to walk around and get lost. So I stayed around nearby to my loved one. There's tons of cars actually, with Satria's Club, and all other proton siblings gathered too. It was such a hot day, and I wasn't dressed up for an auto show actually, more like for a movie-night out. 

Lesson learned, next time t-shirts and shorts is enough. 

I got sunburned pretty bad, red cheeks and striped shoulder and chest. 

Black long-sleeve above-knee dress cardigan is a no-no for an auto show.

Since no one was free to take my picture and busy taking pictures of themselves and their cars, I had chance to only snap reflection of me. Pity right?

By the way my loved one, won 2 categories. Congratulations to him.

Arrived in KL around 6 pm and went to Ara Damansara to picked up banners and stands to set up in Istana Budaya for Utusan Malaysia Poetry Recital Night. Helped my loved one who's currently working for a event-management company in Kelana Jaya. After setting up we went for dinner, in Cheras.

Right after dinner we went strolling in the car around KL, to kill time as we had to pick up the banners we set in Istana Budaya. The poetry recital ended up around 11 pm. Packed everything and went back home. Stopped by TTDI Jaya for supper, and arrived home at 2 am.

Woke up around 9 am, went for breakfast with my loved one and here I am blogging this.

Happy Sunday everyone.

Sidenotes:

Complex things in my life right now gives the beat to my heart.


Currently loving the new Alicia Keys feat Beyonce single Put It In A Love Song.

Say you love me, Say you love me
Then put it in a love song (Put it in a love song)
Say you need me, Say you need me
Then write it in a letter for me (Oh oh oh)
Say you want me, Say you want me
Then text me on the cell phone (Text me on my cell phone)
Say you love me, Say you love me
Then put me in a love song (Oh)

Dear You, I'm still around in case you're wondering why am I being quiet.

Facebook notification / reminders / ads sometime could annoyed me in various ways.

Woke up to notification, "Eryn, who's missing?" is pretty annoying when you have not been talking to someone very dear to you for almost a week. 

Ignored it, and scroll down to check out what's new and again another reminder.

It's like reminding me, "Eryn give it a try! Pick up the phone or click on the Send a Message option and talk to _____________ , you know you want to."

Yes I do want to. It's just I need time to sort things out with myself. I hate being in a state of confusion especially when it keep on playing with my heart and asking me to pick out a decision that suits everyone's needs.

My heart + your actions, could really lead my mind astray.

My teachings taught me, if you don't talk to someone after an argument for 3 days it's a sin.

It's been 3 days I haven't talk to you. But we didn't argue.

I think I have all the signs I needed, showing me last night that I do need to talk to you.

On my way to dinner, I saw a plate number consist of your name. 

How often / random do you spot an army license plate in a day?

In the restaurant they played all the lousy songs available but as my head was thinking of you and the feeling of guilty strikes me, the song "If We Ever Meet Again" was played and that was the song assigned to your name when you called me on my phone. Coincidence some might say, but heck I know it's not.

As I checked my Facebook before I went to bed last night, I came across this.

I hate it when someone "poke" me on Facebook, as I don't know / understand whats the used of that Poke button for. 

It's like a nudge, but the silent nudge.

After 3 days trying to call me and I did not answer the phone, receiving a "poke" from you is like a pat on my shoulder, saying "Hey babe."

I miss you my dearly You, it's just all the lies I hated.

You + Them + Everything I'm hearing = One confused Eryn.

Sidenotes:

Shall talk to you soon.

Sleep is what I really need now.

Oh hello, people...

I wished everyone had a splendid weekend. 

Viva Espagnol? Go go Oranje? Tchuss German ? Finally the syndrome that's been stealing our sleep is over. Everyone's back to work, to school and so forth without losing their precious sleep starting from this week ahead. Unless you're into English Premier League (EPL) that is.

The team that I rooted for ended up claiming 3rd place. Oh well, they did tried their best. It's funny reading football discussion on Facebook, Tweeter and forums by football fanatics criticizing when their favorite team lose the match. It's funny how the Girlfriends all the sudden become football enthusiast just because their Boyfriends are watching them. It's funny how some freak talking about the 4-3-1 tactic, among other football fans when they actually got the fact from the internet or quoted of from other forums and made it sound like they know A-Z of football.

Me? I watched it because God always destined hot, cute, hunky guys as football players. 

So where and what I've been doing for the past 3 days?

Friday :

Watched Twilight Saga : Eclipse at Cineleisure Damansara with F, and Em. Every other showtimes were fully booked and sold out so we had to take the earliest show of the day at 11 am. Had regular lunch at Ikea. Meatballs as usual. 

Received a call from my loved ones, telling me to meet up at Mid Valley. So F and Em dropped me off after lunch.. Waited like a monkey and almost ended up buying stuffs I don't need until I decided to chill at the sofas in  Metrojaya. 

Received another call from him saying he couldn't make it and asked whether am I mad. Told him I am not mad at all, and said it's okay. But the fact was, I was cursing like mad and almost cried because no one ever told me to meet up somewhere and bailed up on me. While talking to him, I rubbed my eyes because it felt itchy and he went "Aww, don't cry.." and I was like "No, I am not crying." There he was sitting on the sofa across from me. 

How sweet is that?

We went dinner at Tony Romas. Their lamb chop was superb and they know exactly how "well-done" supposedly a meat to be cooked. Crispy yet the meat is still succulent and tender. We were served by a Pakistani waiter named Adnan Hussain. He looked pretty matured, when I asked him he was only 19. Wonder if he has a Facebook. Shall look for it later.

Then we went to checked out movie tickets, and because I already promised my loved ones to watch Eclipse. So I went for second round, this time for 9 pm show, and we took the Gold Class ticket. It was our first time in there. The seats were huge, there's a recliner and the waiter will come and serve you with a touch of a button. Wanted to take pictures, but don't want to be so "jakun" aka poser in English. 

Movie ended around 11 plus, and we decided to go for another movie. Next we watched Despicable Me. It was hilarious. Totally enjoyed the whole minion thing. 

Bla, bla, bla to cut the story short we went back home totally late. 

Saturday :

Woke up around 12.40pm the next day and feeling sick. Down with fever, flu and cough. Germs do spread around that fast, barely 24hours and I'm sick. Went for lunch with my loved ones, came back and stayed home until night time. Someone was so kind to send me dinner that night. Favorite Ox-tail stew, with rice.

Watched the German game with E and fell asleep after German scored a goal.

Sunday : 

Woke up feeling sick, and decided to go have lunch with my loved ones at Tropicana Mall. Wondered around and ended up having Black Pepper Beef Udon. It was yummy, in Chinese they call it "Lau Shu" noodle aka rat-tail noodle because it looked like rat tail. Bought myself a new cardigan, black and long. Love it to bits. Scattered around KL and went to Bangsar Shopping Centre, and hurt my foot at the toilet. The toilet door rear hinge snapped right at my foot. Okay, it wasn't the door fault more like I was clumsy as usual.

Went back home early, for the sake of getting an early sleep and a good rest. Went to bed around 11.30 pm and by midnight, received a call from M asking me to join them watching the finals in Damansara. I said no, because I am already half asleep and no one could get me out of my boxers and tee once I'm in it, unless it's my loved ones who asked me out. Chit-chatted and went back to bed around 1 am. 

I thought I was getting a decent undisturbed sleep, until I received a call around 6 am by Iz. Asking me did I watched the finals. Ugh, it's hard to get a good night sleep lately. Maybe I should silent my phone when I go to bed, but what if it's important or the matter of life and death at stake?

I am just so lovable by all, it's hard being me. 

Okay I think I've bore everyone enough with my weekend updates and thats all for today.

Tee-hee.

Sidenotes:

Some asked me on updates of my cat Weebit, wondered if I had thrown her of the building or roasted her for dinner.

Here are some pictures of her taken yesterday.

                 

On Friday, I spend  a lot for Weebit buying her things to make her happy.

1) Bought her new pink colour  collar encrusted with jewels.

Had to hold her head because she would not sit still.

2) Bought her a food dispenser, I called it automatic food-dispenser which is not that automatic.

It is so convenient, I don't have to worry leaving the house long leaving her without enough food. Now she can eat like a pig and grow a fat belly. On the right side is the water dispenser, oh yes I am very lazy like that...

Now I can use this old food / dish bowl to feed her "wet food"

They don't have "Cat-it" when I bought it that time

I wonder if she knows I love her so much.

I hope she's happy.

At least she could tell me by giving me a smile. 

I do know people that have stalkers and it's not nice.

I usually blog once a day, but I just have to post this because it's getting on my nerve and I know she's reading it.

Remember the freak-saga I had with someone's sister a while back? I thought I would have some peace already. Apparently I was wrong.

Again I get another annoying friend request.

Same case, I asked where did he find me? Again it's through name search. 

Oh for pot-head sake, I am not that stupid.

Then when I asked, which Eryn is he looking for. He said, "Don't know, apparently other people came up through the search list..I'll try asking my friend again.."

When he said he'll try asking his friend, I was like "Hah, I knew it.."

But then, because I rather save my breath over something else I just decided to let him go and forget about it.

Until today, my heart told me to do some searching. Just like all these stalkers been doing on me.

I went to her Facebook page.

The dude appeared in 2nd or was it the 3rd page of her list. So "she" was the "friend" the dude wanted to ask which incredibly famous Eryn Azrin he supposed to stalk on.

I think my disclaimer stated clearly enough my dear that I do not add strangers unless, there is a string or two connections with them. To make this clear for the last time, I highlighted it on the picture below.

What is your purpose in asking your innocent friends to add me? 

Still feel insecure of yourself?

Sidenotes:

Some people just go that extra length to find answers. But seriously you're not getting any from me.

I am a good secret keeper, especially if it's my own. 

Stop wasting your time dear.