I am tired.
Of pain, anger, confusion that I am having. In the previous post, I stated that good things comes to those who wait. Starting not to believe in that crap as I've been waiting and tired of being on the waiting list. Hoping miracles to happen sooner or later before I start to give up hope on this whole emotion-devotion-clarification-tug feeling.
Is general incivility the very essence of love?
Ruba told me I must have a very strong heart since its been breaking so many uncountable times. I don't think my heart is that strong, as it hurts when I do cry. Could like literally feel the blood going through the seeping cracks of my heart.
Right now I'm trying to think positive and stay strong even though my heart feels heavy and sometimes I can't breathe. How do you feel dead but breathing at the same time?
Confusion is nothing new.
I hope everything would be wonderful someday.
In the midst of confusion of everything thats going on dysfunctional mode lately somehow I was amazed about something else too. My sister Anis, texted me on the phone saying my mum was asking me what am I doing. Told her I was out and about doing some work. She said my another sister Eleanor, told my mum I was out dating with my bf. Then my mum replied:
"Dating?...But the house is not ready yet for him to come and propose your sister..."
How ready could we prepare the house for the guy's family to come over and ask my hand in marriage? My mum is just so funny at times. She's been so open about marriage lately although she knew I would only settle down around the age of 28. With the rate of heartbreaks and delayed devotion I might not even get married I think.
Starting to embrace the "maybe come what may" attitude.
As quoted from my Facebook profile, "Really wonder why on earth she's so attached to certain things in her life. It's silly, illogical, irrational and ultimately all it does is make her feel like crap. Then again, it does give her a sense of...completion."
I am a fool in Love. Enough said.
Short notes:
Happy Maal-Hijrah to all the Muslims in the whole enchilada Muslim community. Saw everyone posted that on Facebook, the funny thing is tonight some of them are going out clubbing celebrating something else apparently and some are out and about looking out for chicks. Oh well, humans. We're just merely a puppet show at times. Not that I actually do anything to celebrate Maal-Hijrah. At least I am not hypocrite about it.
